BAPTIST OR NOTHING

There was a time in my life when my dream was to marry a committed Baptist church member. I was born and raised in a Baptist church, and as far as I was concerned, my church was the best. I wanted my children to experience being rooted and raised in the Baptist church because I believed it was the only place the word of God was preached lol (blame it on my not going out).

If you have read my book Identity crisis, I mentioned that the Baptist church was the foundation of my church; all the lessons I learnt in my sunbeam, girls auxiliary and Lydia auxiliary is all part of my faith. The interesting part was that I was so naïve to believe that as long as he is Baptist, he is automatically a good man.

I remember trying so hard to find a Baptist man, I wanted a royal wedding by force (in the Baptist church, when a member of the Lydia auxiliary marries a member of the Royal ambassador, they have a royal wedding, which is always ceremonial with parades and uniform) but I have come to realize over time that a good marriage goes beyond that.

I once dated this guy who was a Baptist member; I had no business dating that guy because we had no chemistry and nothing in common. The only common thing we had was that we were dedicated baptist members and our folks were pastors. He liked me, but I felt nothing for him. I told myself I would grow to like him because marrying him meant our kids would experience what I experienced. Looking back, I was so selfish and silly. I wasn’t looking forward to his call and was eager to return home each time we saw each other. I waited for the perfect excuse to break up, but he was just so sweet. He did everything right, lol.

I can’t even remember how I broke up, but I had to come up with a lie. I knew I hurt him and felt terrible, but I knew if I married him, I would remain miserable for the rest of my life, and he would not forgive me.

When I decided to hand over my relationship to the lord, one of the idols he removed from my heart was marrying a Baptist man or nobody. The Holy Spirit asked me, “would you rather marry a man after my heart or make your decision?”. God worked on me until I reached the point of surrender and absolute trust that He has my best interest at heart.

At the end of the day, I did not marry a Baptist man, but I married the best man for me. I have seen Baptist marriages crash, and I have also seen those that flourished. My point is that a good marriage goes beyond the denomination.

RIP OFF THAT LIST

I don’t know what your idol is. Yours might be a particular tribe, job or position. It goes for both genders. I have met men with ridiculous tastes, and I laugh because we often demand what we don’t have.

It’s time to surrender and trust the father. Rip off that list and start afresh. God knows the end from the beginning. Let God order your steps. Your assignment and calling are bigger than you, and whoever you are in a relationship with must understand that you are called to fulfil a purpose, and your union itself is to serve a purpose.

Marriage is beyond that list you are holding. Trust the father and watch him take care of you.

Your friend and sister,

Onome

LOVE SO BEAUTIFUL: BUSAYOMI ‘19

This particular love story is one that excites me, it’s the kind of love that comes your way and you will say “when the Lord turn around the captivity of Zion, we were like them that dream” God is still the best matchmaker.

I met Busayo while she was going through a terrible heartbreak and you can tell how I felt when she called to let me know that she has finally met Mr Right, I was even more dazzled when she said he proposed and they will be getting married before the end of the year.

Busayo is an amazing lady with a heart of gold, she is a woman of virtue with a heart that yearns for God and Bunmi, on the other hand, is a man with so much wisdom, gentle as a dove and a kind heart.

The duo make such a beautiful couple and when you sit with them for a minute they can make you jealous but beyond the affection is the passion to be committed to each other and help each other grow.

Interviewing this couple was so much fun and a very enlightening one, they were both so real and ready to share their testimonies.

Make sure you grab a bottle of cold Fanta and a slice of cake to step down while you read the beautiful love story of Busayo and Bunmi.

Enjoy!

Onome: Tell us something about you and what makes you special?

Busayo: I’m Elizabeth Busayo Bada, a native of the famous Abeokuta town in Ogun state, I’m an artist and a proud believer. I am also a graduate of visual art from the University of Lagos.

I believe every person is very unique and we all possess unique abilities from our backgrounds to experiences, passion and even gifts, we are all specially made.

I am a very unique being and some things make me stand out, from my creativity to my belief, gift, strength, passion, my identity in Christ and all the word says I am.

Bunmi: I believe every individual is special. The mere fact that there is no one else in the world that possesses the same DNA, fingerprints, experiences, perspectives and imperfections as I do makes me unique. I am fearfully and wonderfully made by God with hopes and dreams geared towards a unique purpose.

Back to me, I’m Raphael Bunmi Ogunjemilusi from Ayegbaju- Ekiti in Ekiti State, Nigeria. I’m a graduate of marine biology from the University of Lagos and I’m currently a doctoral student at Bristol University, UK.

My favourite food is yam and egg and I relax by listening to music and binge-watching TV series

Onome: Tell us about your waiting season?

Busayo: Hmmmm…. Onome, my waiting season. That’s a long talk but I will keep it short.

It really wasn’t actually a smooth ride before meeting this handsome heaven sent. Actually hearing God for what he wants you to do and not what you wish in your heart will go a long way in getting it right at once.

For me, it was a lesson and a phase, to start with I didn’t have the luxury of getting it right at once as I’ve always wished. We all have wishes and dreams and one of my dreams was to meet Mr. right early, I always thought the first man I would meet will be my husband so I tried but it didn’t work out, I gave the relationship my best but it never worked out, I was heartbroken, lost and confused.

Little did I know God had something better and bigger… He is still the best love story writer that’s all I can say. During my period of a failed relationship, I poured out my heart to God, prepared myself the more in all aspect and understood I really can’t do it all by myself but to lean on Him to lead and guide me.

Good things they say come when you’re not looking or when you least expect it. Something my waiting period thought me is patience, personal development and hearing God for what he’ll actually have me do and not something I have concluded in my mind before approaching Him, I also got to understand that it’s not just enough to love someone, its only meaningful when you’re loved back, doing opposite of all these can be draining and can distract you from God’s will and purpose for your life.

Patience and personal development in all aspect of life are key things that will help to pull through the waiting period successfully.

Bunmi: I only started actively seeking a relationship shortly after university in 2011. I didn’t want to be in a relationship just so I can say I ‘have someone’. I wanted something meaningful and long-term. My first relationship was in 2013, but it didn’t work out. Since then I decided to focus on my personal development in all areas and at the same time praying to God for a life partner that would be a lover and a friend. So, I would say my waiting season was a period of self-discovery and building myself up mentally, spiritually and career-wise.

Onome: How did you meet your husband/ wife and how did you know he/she was the one?

Busayo: Well, I met him through a mutual friend who is a dear brother to me and someone I can call my confidant, he really knows a lot about me. I had a lot going on with me personally during this period so at first, I wasn’t really thinking about starting a relationship, but as we progressed we grew so attached… so it’s not really some love at first sight thing or a fairy tale story, like I mentioned earlier due to the fact that I had a lot going on with me personally as at when we got introduced to each other so I wasn’t even thinking of a relationship but God had a better plan.

I saw a lot of amazing qualities in him from our first conversation, beyond the qualities what got me growing in love with him was first of all his eagerness towards the word of God and learning more another thing was his push towards me being a better version in all aspects, he believed in me even more than I believed in myself.

I was just getting over heartbreak from a previous relationship and this period made it kind of hard for me to embrace the signs and leadings I was getting towards building something more with him but the more I fought, the more it became stronger, I felt I needed more time to get healed

I wanted to be very certain because I didn’t want to make the same mistake but like the bible says, He makes everything beautiful in His own time so when it became so clear, I took the step of faith and began this journey and till date I have no regrets and I would never have.

Bunmi: I met her through a mutual friend. I was on a phone call with the said friend and during our conversation, he mentioned an artwork he is currently looking at on Instagram. He told me the artist is his family friend and sent me her username on IG. I went to check out her page and told him it was really beautiful. Long story short, he gave me her number and said I should say ‘Hello’.

From our conversations from the very first time I called her; I could tell she was someone I wanted to be friends with. Our friendship grew over time and after some time I noticed she possesses all the qualities I wanted in a significant other. I was convinced she was the one for me. I took out some time to pray about it and I felt the peace of God surrounding the steps I was about to take.

Onome: How is it like preparing for your wedding?

Busayo: Onome to be real with you It’s really challenging, especially when you have to do this within a short period of time and with your partner not close by to do the planning, shopping and all with you physically.

But thank God for maximum support from families and friends that God put in our lives who were always ready to sacrifices just to make sure we are not alone.

On the other hand, it’s fun to spend more time with and to plan with these wonderful people.

Bunmi: To be honest it’s a mix of fun and challenges. Planning for the wedding day – contacting vendors, shopping etc and at the same time carrying on with other aspects of life requires a lot of wisdom and dedication. The key is to always communicate with your partner and all the parties involved. It is also helpful to get families and friends on board quite early to assist with the preparation

Onome: What is the place of God in choosing a partner?

Busayo: The place of God is something that should never be compromised in choosing a partner because it’s not enough to love someone, the God factor cannot be thrown away. He’s the only one that can lead you to the right partner because He knows the end from the beginning so its best we rely on his leading when it comes to choosing a partner.

Bunmi: God knows the end from the beginning and the inner workings of everyman, so as a believer, It is ill-advised to not seek the mind of God in choosing a partner. The place of God in choosing a partner cannot be overemphasized really. He is the third cord that joins and holds the other two together.

Onome: Your advice to singles who are waiting

Busayo: It’s good to understand that finding the right person is a matter of being the right person

So don’t just wait for the right person to come into your life, be the right person by intentionally and deliberately developing yourself in all aspects of your life, no aspect is too small to pay attention to.

Bunmi: I believe marriage doesn’t change who we are but only amplifies who we are while single/waiting. Therefore, it is important to make the most of your waiting season. Give utmost attention to your spiritual, personal and career development. Trust and rest in the promises of God and develop habits that are consistent with who you are in Christ.

Onome: Congratulations to you guys, when is the wedding.

Busayo: it’s this weekend 20th of July, all road leads to Ijebu-Ode in Ogun state.

Onome: I hope we are invited?

Bunmi: (smiles) of course! The more the merrier.

Onome: Thank you for your time, we do appreciate you.

Bunmi and Busayo: It’s an honour, we appreciate the opportunity to share our story!

Conclusion

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.” (Ecclesiastes 3:11 NLT)

I know there are days you want to just throw your hands up in the air and give up but the truth is God is behind the scene working out the best for you. Busayo’s story is one that gives me so much joy, her story is proof that God can work behind the scene and give you the best.

She was really heartbroken, frustrated and pained but look at God, He gave her beauty for ashes. He gave her a man that adores her, I’m not kidding, Bunmi adores and values her and with the help of God, their home will be heaven on earth.

I don’t know what you are going through but let this story encourage you that you are not alone, you will come out stronger. Keep getting better, keep building yourself up and keep growing to be whom God has said you will be.

I look forward to sharing your love story because when God aligns you it will be a forever love story!

Your friend,

Onome Omodara

THE LOVE ADVENTURE WITH SAPELE JACKSON

I was trying to check through Instagram to see what’s happening and all, then my eye caught something. It’s my friend Jackson he is getting married and I was so excited. I could be hopelessly romantic on some occasions and I get so excited when I have to share love stories, it actually proves the faithfulness of God.

I reached out to Jackson and he was more than ready to share his love story. I must appreciate his sincerity and humility to share this story. Love is a very beautiful thing when you find the right one and if there is one thing I have to come to discover is the fact that God writes the best stories.

Do me a favour, grab a bottle of Fanta and let’s go on this adventure together. I can assure you that you are in for a great ride!

 

Onome: let me start by saying a very big thank you for creating time out of your busy schedule to do this. What makes you special as an individual?

Jackson: You are welcome Onome, it’s a big honour. What makes me special? I would say new birth in Christ which has opened me up to a unique identity with Christ and eventually led to divine election and calling.

Onome: hmm, tell us something about you.

Jackson: I’m SAPELE Egwonor Jackson, a Nigerian citizen from Delta state, okpara inland in ethiope-east LGA to be precise. I’m a graduate of Sociology and Anthropology from Nnamdi Azikwe University Awka. I am currently based in Yala LGA of Cross River State, serving as a full-time pastor with Living faith church, Aka winners chapel under the mentorship and fatherhood of Bishop David O. Oyedepo.

Onome: Tell us about your waiting season

Jackson: Early years on campus I began to pray about my life partner.  In my 200level, I made a silent prayer, asking God never to make me get married to a person that will bring dissatisfaction and lack of fulfilment to my life.  I tried a couple of relationship two precisely but they didn’t work out, in all God was busy orchestrating my path I believe.

I decided to pursue purpose, I obeyed the call of God to go into full-time ministry and in my first assignment, I understood the real meaning of help meet. So I will say my waiting season was a period I focused on pursuing God’s divine purpose for my life.  I believe it is purpose first before life partner.  From experience, I discovered it is easier to discover your life partner while pursuing God’s purpose.

Onome: Thank you for that, so how did you meet your wife?

Jackson: As I said, I met her on my first missionary assignment.  The very first day I reported, it was obvious to me that I have found my missing rib.  I met her in church. The very first day I stepped into the church I was posted to serve,  she was the one leading the opening worship,  I couldn’t stop looking……. Onome, you know the rest.

Onome: (laughs) how did you know she was the one?

Jackson: Hmmm, sincerely, it took some time before I finally accepted what my heart desired.  I was trying to heal from the past relationship, I wanted enough time, but God had a better plan for me,  funny enough after few months of praying, seeking counsels, thinking(i thought more) and observing her as a friend, I discovered she’s the exact person I have been praying for right from my campus days.  I had peace, lots of Joy and I was always satisfied and fulfilled talking with her.  As friends, we could talk for several hours.  I just knew and to crown it up, God gave a series of scriptures to back up my convictions.

Onome: How is it like preparing for your wedding?

Jackson: It’s exciting and fun-filled. Going out together for shopping,  and other arrangements.  Though we are doing more of reading marriage books,  to gather adequate and sufficient knowledge for the life journey together.

Onome: What is the place of God in choosing a partner?

Jackson: The place of God is irreplaceable. When God is absent in a believers choice for a life partner, then someone or something else is present. I have always had the notion years ago, that God knows the future better than us.  He knows the internal workings of everyman better than even our parents.  God knows if someone is pretending or not, no man can deceive God, no matter how you think someone is good for a spouse, you will need to seek God’s face for approval and confirmation. Venturing without God’s leading and His backing is an unknown and unsafe journey.

Onome: What’s your advice to singles who are waiting?

Jackson: Your waiting time shouldn’t be wasted time, locate your God-given purpose for living and venture to it as led, that’s the best way to wait.  Adam the first man was on his divine assignment and his wife met him there. Ignore anxiety and rest on God’s promises, the delay is never a denial. It doesn’t take time, it only takes God.

Onome: Thank you for this deep revelation, when is the wedding and I hope we are all invited?

Jackson: Of course everyone is invited if they can come. The wedding takes place on the 16th of March at cross-river.

Onome: Thank you so much for your time.

Jackson: Anytime Onome, it’s a big honour.

 

Conclusion

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding” Proverbs 3: 5 (NKJV).

There is always time for everything and God has it all figured out. All you need to do is trust His timing and leading. Sometimes, the road is lonely and feels so long but you can be so sure God has got you and He is writing your story. Don’t try to steal the pen from Him, be patient because when God aligns you with your partner it is a forever kind of love story.

Congratulations to Jackson and Mercy, we wish them a happy married life!

Trust the father and enjoy the season, I look forward to sharing your love story.

Your friend and sister,

Onome Omodara