Onomewrites

May 3, 2022May 2, 2022

MY PREGNANCY JOURNAL: MONTH 1

Let me start by saying pregnancy is a beautiful experience, and I think it should be compared to having a cultural shock. One minute you are surprised, and the next minute, you adjust. I know I said getting pregnant was not in my plan for 2021, but the truth was that I had battled with fear for a long time. Fear that I would never get pregnant, I was always worried when I had any health challenge. I would cringe when anyone teased me about pregnancy because it was a major fear. I will share the whole story of how I overcame this fear and how God gave us this miracle in my next podcast episode; please don’t miss it.

You know how Nollywood prepares you for pregnancy. When you see someone running to the toilet to vomit then you know she is pregnant. Errhm, in my case, nothing prepared me for the morning sickness and throwing up. I became so pale and tired. The minute I eat, I must throw up. I did not like myself. Well, I lost my job this month, so I don’t have to go to the office (you can read the full gist here). I stayed in bed. I tried doing my regular duties, but I got tired easily. Forget all the English. There is nothing fun about throwing up and morning sickness. I watched myself fall in love with that yellow crackers biscuit. The biscuit they cannot dash me on a normal day; nonsense and ingredient. My husband did not understand how I was feeling; uncle turned it to spiritual warfare, he would pray and expect me not to vomit again, but no, it’s like it became worse. I had zero energy, and I was gradually losing weight.

When next you see a pregnant woman, please render some support because mehn this journey is not easy. The worse part was that I couldn’t pray. I just wanted to be in bed all day.

Praying was hard, but I made sure I talked to God because there were days the devil brought thoughts to my head that I would not carry this pregnancy to the end, but my strength was in God. I won’t sugarcoat and tell you it was easy. It was not easy. I would spend some mornings crying after throwing up. It was so painful watching my husband cook, and then I vomited it. It was an experience, but looking back, it was all worth it.

The beautiful thing about month one was doing a scan; even though the baby was not so visible and I couldn’t see anything, the feeling was surreal. It was so beautiful to see life growing inside of me. I still wasn’t so happy because morning sickness was not joking.

Let’s meet tomorrow as I tell you all about month 2.

May 2, 2022May 2, 2022

MY PREGNANCY JOURNAL

You know how you go about enjoying and shamelessly pursuing your purpose. I started 2021 that way; getting pregnant was not even in my goals. Please blame it on my career goals. I planned to use 2021 to sort out my career and venture into a new career path, but izz like pe God had other plans.

The day started like any regular Monday morning, but before then, I had been feeling dizzy, but it wasn’t a big deal because I feel dizzy when I am stressed. This Monday morning, I went to the office. I was fine and very active.

I had my food in my flask because I woke up early to cook; that was how active I was. I finished eating around ten, and before I knew what was going on, I started vomiting like a dog and felt so weak.

The next day, the scenario repeated itself, and I knew something was wrong. Let me tell you a back story, I react to food a lot, so I can’t just eat anywhere; when I eat what my body is uncomfortable with, I throw up and feel dizzy.

When it happened two days in a row, I decided to change my food, but the next day the story was the same, I kept vomiting every morning, but instead of feeling dizzy, I suddenly felt weak. My husband jokingly teased that I was pregnant, but we both waved it off.

A week later, I was still vomiting, so I told myself pe let me go and do a pregnancy test. I bought a test kit, and the kit gave me a single line which meant negative. However, I remembered reading somewhere that when the pregnancy is still early, the levels of a hormone called human chorionic gonadotropin (HCG) are not so high, so it is not visible; it is why a blood test is recommended so, ladies and gentlemen I could not be happy yet.

Three days later, we strolled to the laboratory to get a blood pregnancy test done, and it came out positive. I couldn’t place my feelings, but I knew I was not happy, and I was not sad. So many questions. Was I even ready to be somebody’s mother? Will I look sexy (blame this one on social media). I ran to tell my husband, and guess what? This young man started laughing. I still don’t get what’s funny. Something that we did together o, he looked at me and said congratulations. I was just dumbfounded. We were both in the same phase. The question was, are we really ready to be parents. I’m sure God was having a good laugh watching us.

We decided to tell our parents; those ones were just dramatic. My mother-in-law sang for more than 10 minutes, and I was just confused; mama was happier than any one of us. Then I called my mother, Revd of the year, my mother went all prophetic, and she said you have made me proud, hehehe, on top of this pregnancy. I have concluded that giving Nigerian parents grandchildren will always be the best gift because I didn’t get this reaction when I graduated from the university or got my first job. Their reactions brought me out of my shell, and I knew it was time to face reality.

That was how the journey began……………………..

I promise to give you all the juicy details about how it went down each month. So join me tomorrow as I take you through my 9-month pregnancy journey day by day.

April 27, 2022September 27, 2022

CHARIS ALARA – EMERGING VOICE OF LITERATURE AND STORYTELLING

Making waves as a Creative Writer in Nigeria is no small feat. It requires lots of passion, perseverance, patience, and consistency. These are the qualities – and some more – that make Charis Alara a force to reckon with in the Creative Writing and Literature space.

Charis Alara started a full-time professional career in the creative writing and literature space upon graduating for her first degree in Estate Management. One would wonder how she managed the switch from Social Sciences to the Arts but this is something she has done gracefully.

Charis is a Nigerian Writer, Storyteller, Creative Writing Coach, and Editor with over four years of experience actively exploring the literary and creative industry both within and outside Nigeria. She is the founder of The360Writer, one of Nigeria’s creative writing platform geared toward writers’ development. Through The360Writer, Charis has helped new and aspiring writers find their bearing and make a living out of their passions.

Being a multitalented Creative Writer is just one of the numerous creative hats Charis wears. Last year, she was one of the 50 selected Nigerians for the Chevening Scholarship, one of the most prestigious scholarships in the world. She is currently studying at Brunel University, London for a Masters’ in Creative Writing

Not only is Charis an excellent writer, but she also doubles as a Poet when the situation calls for it. What’s more? She made her debut appearance as an international spoken word poet during the recently concluded International Women’s Day event themed #breakthebias.

If you are an aspiring writer looking to build a career in the writing and literary space, Charis Alara is proof that your dreams are valid.

That’s all for the Creative Spotlight today, join us next month for the next episode.

February 24, 2022February 24, 2022

DEAR GOD, DO YOU EVEN LOVE ME?

November 2020, I resigned from a toxic work environment (if you want the full gist, click here). After resigning, I promised myself I would not hurry to get another job because you know what they say about making the same mistake twice.

I got a side gig as a customer care representative for an e-commerce service company in February 2021. The pay was little when compared to the work I was doing. Still, I did not mind because at least something was coming in, and I enjoyed solving problems.

I was still searching for a job. In April 2021, I got a good job that was flexible, and the pay was fair, so I said yes to the offer and resumed work immediately. I had a condition before taking the offer, I was employed as a content writer, and when I asked how many people were on the team, I was told it was myself and a graphics designer.

Boy, there was no way I could do a digital marketer’s job. I told them to employ a digital marketer, and they promised to. Two weeks after I resumed, they hired one, and I was so excited, but unfortunately, the terms were not conducive for the person; she left after working for two weeks.

After the digital marketer left, the company refused to employ another person, and they expected me to take up the role, which I could not. It was always a tug of war. The MD/CEO felt I was not competent enough because the company’s social media pages were not growing as she expected.

This woman expected me to grow a page using content only. I tried explaining, but I was not good enough to her, so she went ahead to employ a digital marketing agency. The agency was responsible for all social media pages, which means she does not need my services anymore.

My line manager, God bless his kind heart, tried all he could to convince her to let me stay, but she wanted me out. I started seeing some toxic traits when she called me useless in one of our zoom meetings with the digital agency.

Some weeks after, I dropped my resignation letter because I didn’t want to be sacked. I remember sending that email with tears in my eyes because the truth is that I was tired of job hunting. I came back home, and my sweet husband kept telling me it would be alright.

Here is the thing, I gave a testimony about this job in one of the groups I belonged to in church and here was I three months after with a resignation letter. I felt like God had frauded me. I cried for so many nights. I was pissed and asked why he allowed me to take that job in the first place.

I was throwing tantrums at God, the maker of heaven and earth, the one who can do all things o (Onome, you are bold o lol ); well, He is my father. I refused to pray for days, and the thought of the MD/CEO of that company annoyed me.

It took me months to forgive this woman and everyone involved in me losing my job. I found my peace back when I chose to submit to God and allow Him to lead me. I decided to worship God with tears and pains; in that place of worship, I found peace and strength. He wants the best for me, and today, I’m glad he took me out of that company when He did.

At the same time, I made great friends in that company that I won’t trade for anything. I remember how we cried and hugged on my last day at work. It’s a memory I won’t forget.

I’m in a place of contentment, and I am currently working on my next assignment. I’m not actively searching for jobs, but God keeps sending me gigs, and I have not lacked. That’s how amazing my father is.

There are so many lessons that God has taught me in this phase that I can’t wait to share with you.

CONCLUSION

“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed”. Psalm 34: 18 (NLT).

This scripture comforted me in my pain, and I could feel God. I don’t know what your story is, and if, like me, you are angry at God, please don’t be. He has your best interest at heart. He will come through because He makes all things beautiful in His own time (Ecclesiastes 3:11).

Trust requires you to leave all other plans and cling to God. It is a case of I have no one else, it’s either you help me, or I’m finished. His plans for you are good, and your future is so beautiful.

When you don’t know what to do, worship because you will find strength and comfort in the place of worship, Papa is close to you, and He is ever ready to give you strength. Never doubt His love.

Cheers to you trusting God and coming out stronger.

With love,

Onome.

November 22, 2019November 22, 2019

He Is not into me

Have you ever wanted someone so bad but the person is not looking in your direction? Or has your love interest put you in the friend zone? I know that feeling; let me tell you my story.

I had eyes for him from afar and the first day we spoke, he said I was intelligent; this made me melt. Concentration was impossible whenever I was around him. I knew guys like him would never have anything to do with girls like me (I was first rejected by my low self-esteem). I was a nerd and a bookworm. I didn’t like parties so I was convinced he would never like me.

The first time we met, I liked him. We had a conversation on books and feminism, which led him to say I am Intelligent. He was impressed by my ability to hold an intelligent conversation, so he asked for my phone number. I knew he liked me but he was scared his friends would laugh at him if he had anything to do with me.

I desired him but we became platonic friends. I was that friend he would speak with for long hours on the phone but would avoid in public. I was quite comfortable being in the shadows; at least I was the girl he spent more than 3 hours over the phone with.

I wanted more but I only appealed to him intellectually. I was upset when he started dating a friend of mine. (She was sexy and cute; no surprise he went for her). I stopped picking his calls. I sent him a message when I found out he was with my friend but he didn’t reply to my message, so I let him be.

Some years later we reconnected and became good friends. We had both become mature and knew what we wanted from life. The problem was; my feelings were rekindled and this time it was intense. I wanted to deny my feelings but the more I tried, the stronger it became.

We had become best of friends and I didn’t want to lose the friendship, so I decided to play it cool, but deep down; I was in love. I prayed about it and heard a ‘yes’ (I actually wasn’t expecting any other answer). I started praying that God would convince him to ask me out but the prayer never got answered. I had to summon the courage to ask him.

I asked him what we were doing because we ended every phone call with “I love you” and he would call me sweet names. I needed clarity. He told me he loved me but was still praying about us.

I waited patiently but couldn’t pretend any longer. I needed to be sure where we were headed as I had no time to waste. I called one evening and told him we needed to talk. We spoke at length then he gave me the shock of my life. He said, “Bunmi, God is not saying anything about us”. I couldn’t hold back the tears. ‘What was wrong with me?’ I thought my days of singleness were behind but they just started.

I went back to God for healing. That was when I discovered it was never God’s idea but mine. I concluded on God’s behalf. It was a painful experience but looking back now, I am grateful it did not work out. We are still friends but it took me a long time to realize that we could never have worked out as a couple because our purposes do not align but I was willing to compromise because my feelings for him were so deep.

CONCLUSION

Here’s the thing; I know it hurts that he is not looking at your direction and that he sees you as a sister and a friend but you can’t force a man to love you! If he is meant to be yours, he will come around. You have to trust God to give you the best you deserve.

“Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.” (Ecclesiastes 3: 11) NLT.

A lot of times we are in a hurry and we allow impatience to fuel our desires and influence our decisions but we have to be patient to get the best. I understand that you like him. He makes your heart skip when he is around and you can’t control your emotions. My sister, you need to relax.

There is time for everything. Relationships are way beyond butterflies in the belly. The one God has for you is always worth the wait. You don’t have to embarrass yourself and make stupid decisions to make a man love you.

You can’t force relationships; it has to happen naturally. You need to stop worrying your head about the how and the when. Let God write your love story because He has your best interest at heart and He loves you so much so, you can be rest assured he will give you the best.

I know it hurts, but you have to let him go so you can embrace God’s best for you. Begin your healing process and allow God to give you the best at the right time.

RELATED: GOD, WHEN?

I look forward to sharing your love story!

Your friend and sister,

Onome Omodara