Onomewrites

February 14, 2019February 14, 2019

LOVE AND ME WITH LIZZY

Hi,

My name is Lizzy and I’m here to tell you a story about what Love means to me and my journey with Love.

Growing up as a child, I never really understood what love meant and Valentine was just one of those days, I didn’t even such a day really existed and even when I knew it meant nothing.

My parents were meant to be my yardstick but from as a child, I never saw them show themselves any form of love ( let this not surprise you) my parents are African and expressing of love was just not a common thing while I was growing up, I grew up as a mean and sad child. At age 10 I left my parents and I grew worse.

I started staying with different people, moving from one family to another some treated me well and some didn’t but still I never really understood what Love meant.

I started dating at age 14 thinking dating someone would help me understand what Love is but then I hated those I dated at some point, it went on and on like that for a very long time. I got into the University and I hear so many of my friends fantasize about Love, then it occurred to me that love is here and then I said to myself “is this what Love truly is” I went ahead to date someone else, this time I didn’t even stay one week in the relationship as I started to grow pure hatred for him. Then I realized there’s more to love than dating or learning from other people experiences.

Life was going on as usual but some unusual happened to me, I came in contact with the person of Christ and for the first time I felt loved, I felt there was someone that loves me so much in spite of my errors and mistakes but then I still couldn’t reciprocate this love to people there was still a void in me that needs to be filled.

I dated this beautiful soul after my NYSC, with him I almost felt the same way I felt when I met Christ. This guy loved me unconditionally, he loved me with everything but then I still couldn’t reciprocate the love and at some point, I grew so much hatred for Him.

Having gone through all of these, I felt really devastated and confused. I became really bothered about myself, I wanted to know what really went wrong and then a question popped up in my heart “Christ loves you, people love you but do you love yourself? ” so I was quick to respond why not, I love myself why wouldn’t I? Really why wouldn’t I? Then I stopped to think well, I asked myself some basic questions and then I found out I never really loved myself.

I grew up never knowing who I really am, my identity was messed up, I lied to myself as often as I can remember. I crave for people’s opinions about me, I crave for their love but then I never loved myself. I felt I wasn’t good enough, I felt dead to myself.

Now I know what really went wrong, I couldn’t love others as much cause I never loved “ME”. I couldn’t stay in a relationship for so long because I never loved myself, I jumped from relationship to another seeking for someone to fill the space I was meant to fill myself. I never felt happy being single because I never loved me, I couldn’t even stay alone because I felt it was someone’s duty to make me feel loved.

I know what the problem was, and remember you can only provide a solution to a problem you know of. I started paying much more attention to who I really am, I started channelling love to myself. Yes, I tell myself I’m just good enough, I tell myself the best thing that is to be told. I remind myself each day about the love of God for me and it has kept me going.

It’s Valentine and I know you feel lonely, there’s no one to take you out. You feel jealous of friends that you know would definitely receive wonderful lots of valentine presents. If you love yourself I’m sure you wouldn’t feel strange staying alone on valentine and buying yourself a beautiful gift.

No one would ever love you more than you love yourself, you have to see yourself as the best to make someone find the best in you. Come to think of it Valentine is not just about boo and bae, it’s beyond what we find ourselves doing in this generation.

Valentine is a day to impact lives, a day to make people understand that they must first love themselves genuinely before they can love others and before someone can find them worthy of love.

Rather than wait for someone to love you, buy you a present or take you out. Love yourself, take yourself out, and give yourself that best treat you think you deserve. Enjoy your own company!

Be happy being single and if you are not single be sure not to make your happiness dependent on the other person.

I have promised myself to enjoy my day and have fun being by myself and I am content this way until God sends the right one.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Yours

,Lizzy!

February 14, 2019

A LETTER TO THE SINGLE AND BROKEN HEARTED

Dearest one,

It’s another Valentine and love is in the air. If you asked me about two or three years ago what Valentine meant I would probably tell you it’s that day people decide to be stupid. I hated Valentine, it’s one of the days I would wake up miserable and angry because I knew I was going to see a lot of ladies smile and blush over their rose flowers and perfumes but here I was; single, miserable, broken-hearted and lonely.

Trust me when I tell you I know how it feels to wake up in the morning with nobody sending a love message of how you rock their world, the feeling of getting a phone call from your best friend that her boo just proposed. How do you describe that feeling of emptiness that just envelopes you when you retire to your bed with no gift, not even a bottle of Fanta.

I have been where you are, I hated Valentine until last year when something changed. You think I found a man? I’m sorry but your guess is so wrong. No man had found me up until that time but I had come to understand what love really meant.

April 2017 the Lord called me to step into a new realm and that was a big step, you have heard me say it several times. I ditched other relationships and focused on his love for me, the truth is, I can’t boast of my love for him, I can only boast of his love for me.

This journey of singleness has opened my eyes to who I really am, I have been able to come to a place of accepting my personality and embrace my uniqueness. That is why I can gladly love this person I am growing to be and at the same time be able to accept love.

I wish I could tell you it was an easy ride but honestly, there were days I wanted to break down and just hop into the arms of the next man that comes my way but today I can tell you that the wait is always worth it.

I know you are broken hearted, you are smiling and laughing with everyone but deep within you are broken, wounded and hurt. You can’t understand why someone you loved passionately would decide to hurt you. You don’t even know how to love anymore but I need you to see the brighter days ahead because soon you will rejoice.

I have seen God rewrite stories and turn things around but you need to be content with who you are, accept your person. The truth is, you are the one who decides your joy, and until you love yourself nobody will love you rightly.

My life feels like a fairy tale sometimes and I can tell you that your dream relationship is very possible. Trust the process and allow the father to write your story. I have seen write my story in a way that sounds like a fairy tale, I wake up every day as a grateful child, one the father loves exceptionally! My story is one that tells you that God is the best writer of love stories!

I know the next fear is but how do I love again when I find the right one. This fear was in my face every day, I thought I had forgotten how to love, I thought I was going to mess things up so I tried to be perfect but the one God has for you will help you, the one God has for you will not leave you hanging. The one God has for you will be an expression of the father’s love.

Today, love yourself, treat yourself right. Get yourself a gift and appreciate where you are right now and embrace the father’s love.

God is writing the perfect love story for you don’t steal the pen with impatience.

You are worth loving!

You are worth chasing!

Happy Valentine’s Day sweetie.

Your friend and sister,

Onome Omodara

2018: LESSONS LEARNT AND THE JOURNEY AHEAD

Phew! 2018 is finally packing its load to leave for good. It has been a wonderful year actually, it came with its own challenges and of course it had its own good moments. I know if I ask you how the journey has been you sure have a lot to say.

A lot has happened during the course of the year but we are grateful for the gift of life and we can all say in sincerity that God has been faithful. I know yours might not be so cozy, it is even possible you have not achieved all your goals but look to the brighter side! You can still do more so don’t give up!

LESSONS LEARNT

There are so many lessons I learnt this year but some stood out for me and I hope it helps and challenges you as you progress and journey into 2019.

Whatever God tells you to do just do it:

One major lesson 2018 taught me was that God’s instruction does not have to make sense before you listen. I remembered trying to argue my way when I heard the instruction to write “there was a girl” but looking back at the journey the number of testimonies that came after that book humbled me and I’ve learnt to always listen to the father’s voice and obey, It saves you from a lot of stress so in 2019 just like Mary said to the servants “whatever he tells you to do just do it”

Build relationships not platforms:

A lot of times we struggle to be relevant and be seen but the secret is simple just build good relationships. You will always need people, when you are good men will always come running when you need them. Life was not designed to be lived alone so in 2019 be intentional about your relationships.

Be humble and teachable

This is one major lesson 2018 taught me. Humility opens door for you, when you are willing to learn you will sit before kings. This coming year I can assure you that humility will help you if you choose to keep her.

Be intentional about growth:

Growth is not a very easy process, I can tell you it takes a lot of effort. This year I promised myself I was going to read a lot of books but at the end of the day I didn’t meet my target but it was a big lesson for me that is not about the words of my mouth but it is an intentional process.

Always acknowledge the place of God

I can’t underemphasize the place of God. He is the most important factor. I am never self-made I’m just a girl loved recklessly by the father! Take time to always acknowledge God after every little victory and I can bet you are setting yourself up for bigger victories.

THE JOURNEY AHEAD

I know we are all excited at the thought of a new year but what happens when the Euphoria ends and we are faced with a major challenge. Like a preganant woman we are all expectant about what 2019 will bring but while we wait we need to be very intentional.

Earlier this month, I tried writing my goals for the New Year and it occurred to me that did I really achieve all my goals in 2018 and all of a sudden I became so disheveled and at a point I was getting so paranoid but I had to come to myself and I realized that it’s okay not to have it figured out, just relax and celebrate your little victories.

It is not enough to set goals there is a need to be very intentional, what are the steps to take to achieve the goals and have a good result. Be very deliberate and intentional and if you can, get an accountable partner to put you in check.

CONCLUSION

2018 is coming to an end and if you didn’t get to achieve all your goals, don’t wallow in pain cheer up and start again. To those who encountered heartbreaks, pains and major challenges this year it is not the end of the world.

2019 promises to be brighter, don’t give up on love, don’t give up on your dreams I look forward to celebrating and sharing your success story.

Thank you for staying me throughout this year, if you ask any writer the real deal is in getting feedbacks. Feedbacks encourages us to do more. Thank you to everyone who sent me a mail, those who wrote me a note, and those who even recommended my books I am really grateful! Onomewrites is nothing without your love and support.

I am your invisible friend and I do love you!

Thank you for staying with me

Let’s do more in 2019.

Your friend,

Onome Omodara

December 3, 2018

THE JOURNEY TO FOREVER WITH TEE

Getting a bride for an interview just two weeks to her wedding is not quite easy but Tee is just a lady whose heart is large and I couldn’t be happier when she told me she is willing to share her story. I had a meeting Tee in 2016, she came to say hi and we were discussing about relationships. She was still very single and I could remember she told me she was going to allow God have the final say in her love life and looking back at that statement she lived to her words. Her story is one of patience, absolute trust in God and of course love.

Tee’s wedding comes up on the 8^th of December and interviewing her was not just fun there were a lot of great lessons to pick from her love story. She is on the journey to forever and in this interview she talks about her waiting and of course how she met her darling husband to be.

Do me a favour get a bottle of cold Fanta and enjoy this story because you are in for a great ride!

Onome: Let me start by saying thank you for your time. My first question is this; what makes you special as an individual?

Tee: Everyone is uniquely created by God and each of us has what makes us special but for me I will say my temperament makes me special because that is who God has made me to be. My attitude, behavior, reaction, action, responses and all makes me unique and special in my own way.

Onome: what was your waiting season like? How did you spend it?

Tee: Hmmm….. That’s a very long story but I will try to make it as brief as possible. I have tried a lot of relationships but none worked. I can’t start saying in details but God thought me a lot of lessons alongside.

The fact remains this; putting God first will enable one make the right decision at all times. Knowing God early and relating with Him sincerely will also help in making the right choices.

It’s not fun trying relationships because it hurts the heart deeply most times, getting it right from the early stage is the best thing that can ever happen to a lady in terms of relationship but at the same time God has a way of making all things work together for good. My waiting season was filled with lessons and at the same time I got to walk intimately with God.

Onome: How did you meet your husband?

Tee: I met him when I was serving, I had a friend serving in his office, he happens to be my friend’s direct boss. I went visiting my friend on two different occasions so he met me through my friend. I didn’t know anything was happening until he called me himself.

Onome: How did you know he was the one?

Tee: The first day we spoke, I felt a connection and relief in my spirit. We started talking at length from the first day we spoke and it was quite unusual of me to get acquainted with a stranger at the first instance. I was feeling strange though but I believed my spirit won’t mislead me because I wasn’t desperate and wasn’t expecting anyone at that period. I kept getting connected to him even before he proposed but I held my peace because I tired avoiding the flesh pushing me to give too much attention. Gradually we got in to ourselves by talking about past and present experiences. His love for God confirmed he was the right person. We were not shy to express our love for God. We shared the word together, we prayed together, we read books together even before he proposed.

The day he made his intentions known, I tried playing games of the heart even though I had known ahead of time… I finally gave him a yes. We decided to make it work. He imbibed some lessons and ensured we pray every morning and night. When issues come up, we try rectifying it daily because we know nothing must hinder the place of prayer daily.

Onome: How long did you two date?

Tee: A year and six months

Onome: How is it like preparing for the wedding ceremony?

Tee: Well… Based on my personality, I like putting things in place early enough then resting afterwards. After the church gave a date, we sorted counseling almost immediately, we went shopping ahead because we were not sure of full availability afterwards. Fortunately, it favoured us because I got so involved in school activities that I hardly had time for myself. The saving grace was that I was prepared way ahead of time and just like the watch word of boy’s scout ‘Be prepared’, I was and I’m still very prepared.

Getting the wedding gown, native attire, family preparations and all wasn’t easy but the fact that we played our role early because I was moving made it easier. Even till last Wednesday in November I was still battling with school activities. I wondered what could have happened if all wasn’t worked on early. By early November everything was set to the glory of God.

In summary, preparation for wedding is indeed fun… There is this special feeling that comes with it especially when you go shopping and the marketers ask if it’s for wedding and you smile… Those prayers from every side is a big part of the preparation. It keeps us going.

Onome: Wow. That’s a big lesson to learn. What is the place of God in choosing a partner?

Tee: I tried making all relationships I had work but none worked out because I was concerned about my effort and I left God at the initial stage of those relationships, I only involved Him in the middle and it didn’t work out. But when I decided to give Him my all, the connection came from where I least expected. Imagine meeting your husband when you went to spend some time with your male friend…’no strings attached though’. An average guy could have felt I came seeing my boyfriend or I’m a flirt or something but because God was involved, there were no assumptions. My friend wanted to redeploy when he was posted there but till date he keeps saying he went to serve there because of me. He was used by God to make us meet and I can say God actually aligned us together. God was involved because He worked it out in a mysterious way and let me say this God is a very important factor when choosing a partner, He knows you and knows what is best for you.

Onome: .Hmmm… so what is your advice to single ladies waiting?

Tee: Giving it all to God is the best because we can never force what God is not involved in to work out. We should not tell God we can handle our relationships on our own. We should not live in our pasts when God has forgiven us already.

Making God the foundation of our relationships will help stabilize the relationship even when storms of life come in. Choosing right helps live heaven on earth. Let’s also endeavor to read books, it helps us build capacity. Every relationship is unique in its own way, we should not make anyone’s relationship a standard.

Onome: Thank you so much for your time, I know it’s a big sacrifice. We really appreciate you. Once again, Congratulations ma’am.

Tee: It’s a big honour Onome, thank you for having me.

CONCLUSION

“Delight yourself also in the Lord and He shall give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37: 4) NKJV

Sometimes we try to force God into relationships we never started with Him and then it becomes so messy, a good relationship starts with God. Here is to all the singles who are tired of waiting, the ones who are frustrated and angry I hope this story encourages you that God has the best for you and when He aligns you with your partner it is a forever kind of story.

Cheer up and watch grant the desires of your heart while you delight yourself in Him. Once again, a big congratulations to Tee and her husband we wish them God’s blessing as they begin the journey to forever.

Hold on and trust God, I look forward to sharing your story.

Your friend,

Onome Omodara

November 19, 2018

THE BROKEN EDGE

Hi guys,

Let me tell you a story, one that is short and also interesting.

I met a young, talented, gifted and passionate writer sometimes in September. The aura and the ambience she portrayed carried grace, this is not some fantasy but reading through her poetry I knew right there that the world deserved to meet this beautiful writer.

She called me one evening and said to me “I want to participate in the okadabooks campus writing challenge” I couldn’t help but dance my shaku shaku dance because I knew that this is a step to greatness. She wrote the story and no flattery I was amazed at the beauty of the story.

The broken edge has five short chapters, it is the story of a young lady who was broken, cracked, damaged and heartbroken. If you are an emotional somebody like me, there is a high chance that this story will bring you to tears.

Let me leave the story, the broken edge made it to the top 150 stories for the competition and when I heard the news I danced like a little girl who just got a bowl of ice-cream. We really need your help to bring her to the top. We need your vote!

In her words she said

“Minimum of two times a week, eight times in a month, ninety-six times a year, there is always a pop-up news on rape in Nigeria(85% involving the girl-child).

But not all rape cases even make it to the news

THE BROKEN EDGE is a book that mirrors the life of a victim.

I,Bada Oluwatimileyin,A 200level student of the Department of Chemistry, University of Ibadan, Ibadan, Nigeria, wrote this short story as an entry for the okadabooks campus writing challenge

And I need your vote to help me win the #audiencefavorite category”

See ehn, this is our book and we need to vote for this story! Timileyin has done a great job and she deserves to win this. Voting is quite simple, it will just take some minutes of your time.

HOW TO VOTE

Click Here it takes you directly to the page for voting

Search for “the broken edge” click on it

You will find the link Vote just click on vote and that is all!

Finally, download the book and read it is a story that will be worth your time.

I know I can count on your votes fam, please help us vote. Once you vote drop your comment and I will personally appreciate you. I might even have a small gift for you!

Thank you!!!!!!

Cheers!

Yours,

Onome Omodara