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A SPECIAL DAY!!
The day she had dreamt of all her life was here, that special day every young girl dreams of, that day every lady fantasizes about. she felt so delighted and elated she looked so beautiful in her beautiful white wedding gown, her best friend was right behind her holding her flowing gown it was so obvious that her dad was so proud of her as he held her hands with pride and led her into the church with hundreds of people standing up awaiting her arrival the organist played silently the tune “Here comes the bride” to welcome her, her prince charming was looking dashingly handsome in his black tux with a touch of coral colour he flashed a beautiful smile at her that made her blush for a second, it just felt so right she was the happiest woman in the world not just being her wedding day but it was the day she would become one with the man she loved and honoured right in front of families and friends it was indeed a dream come true!

I bet more than half of the single ladies reading this are already imagining themselves in this story, you are already feeling like a bride already it’s a day every single lady dreams of, a day she will read her vow to be committed to just one man he’s not just a man he will be called her king, her husband but above all a man she loves and loves her back. Aloma wright once said “I hear people talk all the time about how beautiful a woman is when she becomes a mother but take it from me a woman who had three beautiful kids to look after all day, it’s on her wedding day when she is the most beautiful she is never more pretty, happier and more in love all at the same time than she is on that day!!

The most exciting thing about this day is the romantic evening that follows when she is all alone with her knight, her prince and of course her husband in her sexy lingering ready to give all her body to this man of course they’ve been pronounced one and so he has all the right to see her naked, it’s their first night together she has looked forward to this day for a very long time! It was her wedding night!

Sweetheart, Your wedding day and your first night will become more beautiful if you have waited, a strong lady waits, don’t be in haste about it. Can you imagine that your dad decides to surprise you with a Toyota Camry for Christmas, he hides it carefully but you secretly take it out of the hiding place and try it out on the 22nd of December then on the Christmas day you have to act as if you are surprised and joyful but the holiday is colourless and empty. Motherhood is much more interesting and exciting when you have it right inside wedlock. Don’t allow your feelings to deceive you and push you into trying out, don’t lose the fun, excitement and joy you will have for a long time over a feeling of pleasure that will last for just an hour. The wait is always worth it!

if you have made a mistake it’s okay don’t feel so bad about it just get up and move on, make up your mind to keep your legs closed and keep it for the right man!

Remember, a strong lady is one that waits. Your wedding day and weeding night is worth waiting for, it’s your special day so keep it special!
Onomewrites@gmail.com

Dear friend,
I know that feeling, the feeling of anger, rejection, hurts and pains what made it more painful is the fact that nobody understands not even the people you call friends each time you shed those innocent tears they tell you “You need to get over it and move on you are not the first” some are even nicer they hold you and tell you “Cheer up its going to be fine” but those harsh or sweet words are not just enough to make you feel better you are in serious pain you are hurt not just by anybody but by the one you loved and trusted the most.
I’ve got news for you,  I’ve been there and I totally understand, I feel what you are going through yes I’ve been there, I’ve been rejected, abused, used, disappointed and betrayed by the ones I trusted, the ones I gave all my life, I relied on them for support some of them walked out on me without saying goodbye I kept asking myself “where did I miss it, what was my fault?” so you can trust me when I tell you I know exactly how it feels, my heart was ripped into two I was broken and I was hurt, I can’t count the number of times I had to wet my pillow, I used to wonder if there was a God up there nobody understood, I was living in pains for years I was scared of getting close to people I thought everybody I met wanted to hurt me. I could remember the day my uncle told me I was sick for crying over a break up, I could remember a lot of people telling me it was my fault that he walked out, I cannot tell you all I’ve been through, at a point I felt life was not worth living I knew I had talents I knew I had potentials but I was too clouded by pains to see a brighter side of me for years I was living in my shadows I was too scared of coming out, I felt nobody wanted me I heard a lot of motivational talks but it just couldn’t heal me but at a point I was tired of living in pains, I wanted to smile again, I had to make a deliberate effort to come out.
What exactly do you do when the one you love let you down? when people you trust disappoints when your best friends becomes enemies? How do you deal with hurts and pains?

Firstly, don’t ever play the blame game on yourself, don’t blame yourself because it happened, don’t feel bad for yourself because it didn’t work out we are humans we all make mistakes learn from your mistakes but don’t blame yourself, stop feeling guilty stop saying “If I had done this” if someone walks out on you it’s just because it was never meant to be sometimes disappointments is God’s way of preventing you from errors and troubles.
Secondly, forgive that person, I know it sounds crazy you want to say “I’m not sure you understand” I understand, unforgiveness in your heart is hurting you and not the person who hurt you, the person who hurt you is probably sleeping peacefully and you are up all night crying can you see it’s not worth it forgive them so that you can move on.
Thirdly, don’t ever think going into another relationship will help soothe your pain sweetheart you are wrong, it’s never going to help you, you will only end up punishing an innocent soul for the sins of another, give yourself time to heal.
Fourthly, forgive yourself don’t be deceived its really okay to cry the problem is when you cry for too long and you wallow in it, cry your heart out let out the pain, if screaming would make you feel better scream but when you are done crying get up, forgive yourself and move on see the brighter side and become a better person, there is a right person out there for you, forgive yourself and be strong.
Finally and most importantly, allow God to heal you no other person feels your pain like He does, tell Him exactly how you feel, God is not just the provider of material things He heals heart and He gives us peace real peace that surpasses all understanding. I can assure you that His arms are wide open to hold you and wipe your tears and He is ready to heal you and give you a heart to love again.
Sweetheart, we are all humans and we make mistakes forgive yourself, forgive the person that hurt you, you will look back someday and thank God because all the heartbreaks, the pains, the disappointment will make you a better person learn that lesson you need to learn and moves on.
If God could fix me and clean up my mess then He will do much more for you because today I’m grateful for all the pains because they made me better and wiser, you’ve got to trust God and let Him help you.
You are strong and you are special
Yours sincerely,
A friend who understands.

THE VALUE OF TIME
Every man who has a dream has two phases to go through, the first phase is the DREAM PHASE this is the phase where you start nursing your dream, where you start imagining where you want be and the second phase is the MANIFESTATION PHASE, this phase comes when your good dreams have come to pass when you are really fulfilled.

There is something between the dream and manifestation phase and that is “TIME” your dreams will not come to pass in one day, one great investment God gave every human being equally is time, it is how productive your time is that determines how and when your manifestation will take place. A lot of people spend their own time complaining, grumbling and lamentation and they might never achieve anything good, just because you failed the first time you attempted something does not mean you are a failure, you need to try again.
I know you have big dreams and it looks as if it will not to come to pass, I want to ask you what are you doing with the gift of time you’ve been given? You need to give yourself time and be diligent you don’t have to rush things because if you manifest before the actual time I’m afraid you will soon be forgotten. The phase of time is a great determinant of how your manifestation will be, you need to invest your time in productive things, plan your dreams, set goals be determined and be diligent. God is not a magician but He is a miracle worker, he doesn’t bless empty hands, he only adds to what is in your hands so as to multiply, stop being so lazy you need to wake up and be diligent. Every great man is a good investor of time, Cristiano Ronaldo spent all his time practicing and learning new skills in football and he ended up becoming the world best footballer in 2013, It was Malcolm Gladwell who said in his book Outliers that there are no geniuses, the world is filled with men who have dedicated their time in hours of practice to be a better person.  You’ve all it takes to succeed stop complaining and start working.
CONCLUSION

Charles Darwin said “A man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of time” you need to stop wasting your time and energy over irrelevant things you need to get up and pursue your dreams, your good dreams will definitely come pass, it doesn’t matter how many times you have failed you need to get and move on, it’s not time to cry and lament it’s time to move on and dream again. You are a success don’t settle for less! Don’t waste your time invest it so that you are reap the good dividends tomorrow.
I believe in you!
God bless you!!!

SELF- ESTEEM
It was a dark and lonely night and the room was so empty, all she could see was her shadows, like a fragile bird looking for safety she crawled around her bed and all she could do was cry all alone, she felt lost and empty with her eyes flowing with uncontrollable tears. Right there in that room she wished the morning would never come she just hated life, her mind and her cerebrum were not helping matters as they took her through the journey of what a mess her life has been and all she could do was cry harder, she was tired of forcing herself on people, she had become a terrible liar just to get people’s attention,She just wanted to be happy, she wanted to be seen and she wanted to be loved.
Many people like this young lady have felt dejected, rejected and unloved they keep asking themselves every day what exactly is the problem?
What is self-esteem?
Self-esteem is simply how we value ourselves, how we make the world value us. It is the way we think and feel about ourselves and finally it is a state of the mind. There are majorly two types of self-esteem
1.High self-esteem
2. Low self-esteem

High self –esteem
A person with a high esteem feels so secured, strong and positive, they are always confident.
Low self-esteem
A person with a low self-esteem feels so unworthy, incapable, unloved and this feeling stops individuals from reaching their full potential.
  Low self-esteem is a dream eater; it stops individuals from reaching their full potential, individuals with low self-esteem often get scared of confronting people, they get so scared of sharing their ideas and thoughts because they feel they cannot be accepted. A low self-esteem individual is dying to get attention and so does some crazy things to get attention, some of them go to the extent of lying to loved ones claiming to be who they are not.

Signs of low self-esteem
Blaming others
Negative view about life
Fear of taking risks and fear of being ridiculed
Feelings of being unloved
Lack of trust in people
Self-pity
Low self-esteem can be caused by so many factors but what matters is how you deal with it, low self-esteem can kill your dreams because it makes you view it as impossible and it makes you look down on yourself, it gives you room for self-pity. Helen Keller said “Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in the world”.
How can low self-esteem be dealt with?
To deal with low self-esteem you need to believe in yourself, pay more attention to your thoughts think positively, have a self-talk all the time when you look at the mirror every morning tell yourself “I am beautiful, I am smart, I am talented, I can do this, I am so intelligent, nothing can stop from making it. As you begin to appreciate yourself the real you comes out for the world to see, you don’t need to beg for attention because you will attract the right people. If you want to others to love you then you need to love yourself, Oscar Wilde said “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance” if you don’t love you nobody can love you.

Conclusion
You are the best of your kind when God created you He created you unique don’t allow people or circumstances make you feel less important, you are designed to excel! Raise your head high and walk with confidence because you are special and the best you can be is number one.
“Friendship with oneself is all important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else” – Eleanor Roosevelt.
Self-esteem comes from being able to define the world in your own terms and refusing to abide on the judgments of others”- Oprah Winfrey.

Make yourself valuable and be proud of who you are, nobody can make you feel less, believe in yourself and keep shinning! You are the best!
God bless you.

LETTING GO!
I just hate you! Don’t you get it? Just leave me alone those were her words to Daniel; Daniel had always wanted a relationship with her. He would stalk her then send all her friends to her, just to make her see how much he loves her but she would not go out with him. Those words went down to his spine but why would she hate him? He kept wondering. She wouldn’t stop shouting at him Are you deaf or seriously drunk? I said leave my house now! like a little boy whose mum forgot his birthday, with his eyes so red and close to tears, he turned around and left. She hissed and continued to watch the movie.
Her friend, Esther, walked up to her and sat beside her. With a soft voice, she said, What is it with you and men? But she shouted at her Esther too I just need some peace! she hissed and continued with her movie.
Esther looked into her eyes with love and affection then said, we have been friends for so long and yet I don’t really understand you. You keep sending every guy away, Sandra! please talk to me. This is our final year in the university; you should be in a relationship by now. (Sandra and Esther have been friends and roommates from their first year in the university).
Susan looked at Esther with tears in her eyes and said You will never understand, just let me be Esther sensed she was hurt but since she didn’t want to bother her, she deiced to change the topic…So are you still going for the super Lady’s programme tomorrow? Susan just wanted to be alone but she knew Esther will never take NO for an answer, she then replied If it will make you leave me alone, ‘yes’ I will go. With a big smile on her face, Esther gave her a hug and told her, she was going to see her boyfriend. She went to get dressed and left the room.
The super lady programme was really getting interesting has the organizers had invited top dancers and musicians to entertain the audience, Esther was glad her roommate was enjoying the programme as she could see her smile and scream. Just an hour after the programme had started, the guest speaker was invited to speak. She was a relationship expert and she spoke for 45 mins on the topic Its Time to Let go. She used her story to challenge them, “how she was hurt by men so many times and how it was until she let go of her hatred that she found peace and met her husband with whom she is happily married”.
It was during the speech Esther noticed Susan was crying, she gave her handkerchief and placed her hand gently on hers. The speaker told them she is available for private counselling anytime, she dropped her number and left.
Immediately she left, Susan stood up, Esther was scared, so she followed her wanting to know if she was okay. Susan followed the speaker, who was about to enter her car, Susans eyes filled with tears, she said in a soft but shaky voice Ma, may I talk to you now? The woman looked at her with a deep sense of love, she said My dear, I have another engagement right now but you can give me a call, I will find time for you tomorrow.  She gave Susan a big hug and told her Please give me a call. Susan felt relieved thanked her and left. Waiting for her was Esther who gave her another hug and said I love you, everything is going to be alright. They went inside to pack their bags and left for their house
Susan could not wait for the day to break, so she could call the woman. The wait finally ended, she called the woman and she gave her the time and the venue. Susan kept her appointment with the woman. She went with her best friend, Esther.

Susan told the woman how hurt she was, Esther held her tightly and the woman listened with keen interest. She told them the story of how she was raped by her favorite uncle when she was just 10years she tried to tell her parents but they were too busy to understand her and couple with the fact that the uncle told her, she would die if she tells anyone.
When she was 14 her childhood friend (Bob-cool and pleasant boy) also forced himself on her but the humiliation and previous experience with her uncle won’t let her tell anyone. At that point she vowed not to have anything to do with boys again, until she met Philip. 
She met Philip in her first year. He swept her feet away with his charming and caring nature. She told him her story and he, in turn, promised her, he will be there always for her. He promised a no-sex relationship till marriage. One faithful day, she went to hang out with Phillip and met some of Philip’s friends there. In the merriment, she was drugged and she slept off. When she woke up, she realized, she has been defiled. She felt shattered, not only because Philip had failed her, like all the other men in her life, but because she wasn’t even sure how many of them had sex with her.
She rushed back to her hostel, she could not tell anyone not even Esther what had happened because she felt used at the same time guilty of trusting, just like it happened before, no one would ever understand. Then She vowed from that day on not to trust any man again nor fall victim of another man’s charm and sweet words.
The speaker walked to her side and held her hands, she then told her Sweetie, you have to let go, you are hurting and its affecting you. I know its never going to be easy but the past draws us back from the future. If you don’t let go of the past you will never embrace and see the beautiful things the future has for you.  Susan you need to stop hating yourself and move on! These men are not everybody, don’t allow them make you miss the wonderful people ahead. Susan stop holding on to past, you need to let go!
Susan wept loudly and said Ma, I am really trying but I’m hurt, Esther held her and wiped her tears with handkerchief. Deep within, Esther was feeling so bad, she could still that remember that day in 100 level when Susan came back very late in the night looking so disoriented and uncoordinated, she tried finding out but Susan would not talk and as their usual practice she let her be…”only if she knew, she would have kept pressing till she tells her the whole story.” By now Esther was also in tears.
The speaker held her hands again and told her These men have moved on but you are the one still hurt, you really need to help yourself, smile again. You deserve to be happy! Nobody knows how you feel and nobody understands what you are going through but allow yourself to be healed. Let the past go with the past, you need to welcome a new life. It is never going to be easy but I assure you it is worth it” After a talk of about one hour Susan felt relieved, she promised to let it all go and the woman promised to be in touch with her.
When they got home Esther apologized for  not being there when she needed her the most and for not truly understanding her but Susan apologized too for not being open minded to her.
It took Susan time but she has decided to start seeing the brighter side life has to offer and with Dr. Thompson by her side, checking up on her and making her feel loved, she finally let go and gave love another chance. She gave Daniel  a try and she never regretted it.

Lessons
1. You never get rid of bad experience by shutting yourself in and everyone else out
2. The past draws us back from the future. If you must move on, you must shed the excess weight of your past.
3. Most people who hurt you can’t even remember. If you do not let go of the hate, you would only be hurting yourself more.
4. Because friends say they are fine doesn’t really mean they are fine. Often times they just need someone to press a little harder and show a little more concern.
5. For every bad person there is a good person. People are different don’t judge everyone with the sin of few people.
6. A problem shared is a burden lifted. If it is more than you can handle find someone to talk to, if not a family, then a friend, if not a colleague then a professional.
7. You are in control of your happiness; not another man nor another woman, not an experience nor bad breaks, not the good things you have nor the things you lack.
Finally,  a lot of times as humans we are hurt by the people we love and trust the most but if we refuse to forgive and let go, we are the ones hurting. The future will never come around if you still hold on to the past. It’s never going to be easy but eventually it is going to be worth it.

Daphne Rose kingma said Holding on is believing that there is only a past; letting go is a knowing that there is a future
Its time for you to let go of the hurts and the pain, and welcome the future.
God Bless You!