Onomewrites

April 30, 2019April 30, 2019

IN LOVE WITH A CHURCH BOY

While growing up, I was eager to date a church boy: I felt they would be kind and know how to treat a woman right, but that mindset changed as I grew older. I encountered the bad eggs and was petrified to realize; that some approved sex before marriage.

I have had my share of wrong relationships; the scariest heartbreak I had was from a guy I met in church. After the experience, I made up my mind I was done with church boys. As a matter of fact, I didn’t mind dating an unbeliever: I told myself I would drag him to church, but God had better plans for me. Interestingly, I got to meet a church boy about two years later and I am passionately in love with this man.

This article is not about me. I know there are people like me, who gave up on church boys, and some, who would rather meet a man in a club, than in church. I am not judging your decisions but before you give up on godly men, you need to read this…

THE EPHESIANS 5 MAN

“In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself” (Ephesians 5:28).

The reason a lot of us are dealing with heartbreaks is because, we keep doing things God didn’t ask us to do. God never asked you to date a church boy. It wasn’t written anywhere in the scriptures, that you have to marry a man you meet in church.

The church is like a hospital: some are sick, some are recovering while others have fully recovered. Therefore, anybody can be a church boy, but it takes more than going to church to be an Ephesians 5 man. It took me a while to understand that, when you choose to wait on God, He will give you the best.

The Ephesians 5 man is a rare breed. In simple terms: he is “the kingdom man”. This man doesn’t just go to church: he loves God passionately and is pursuing a relationship with the Lord. This man loves his woman, sees her as the helper for his journey to purpose, pursues and covers her as Christ does.

There is a difference between a nice man and a kind man. Also, there is a difference between a good man and a godly man. The fact that a man is good, does not translate to him being godly. The real difference is that a godly man does not make decisions without consulting the King, and every day, he is pursuing after righteousness and holiness. Interestingly, this man is even asking the father how to love you right. He is not just a random man: he is a gift!

Stop stressing yourself over meeting the right man: hand over your love life to the father and I assure you, that He will make your paths cross. You may not meet him in church, but when you do, you will be grateful you waited; because the Ephesians 5 man, is worth the wait!

At the end of the day, the Ephesians 5 man is a church boy, who loves the Lord and is committed to the growth of the kingdom.

I pray for everyone waiting on the lord for their Ephesians 5 man, and for those searching for their proverbs 31 woman: may the father order your steps, and at the right time, your paths will cross. While you are waiting, keep pursuing God. The best is here already.

Cheers to your beautiful love story!

Onome Omodara

Onomewrites@gmail.com

March 28, 2019March 28, 2019

DEAR GOD, WE NEED TO TALK

“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. ¹⁵And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.” 1 John 5:14 -15 (NIV).

It was a Tuesday evening, Lagos traffic did no justice to my tiny body I was really tired and I just couldn’t wait to get home and rest. It was not even about the traffic, I was psychologically and mentally tired, as a matter of fact I felt so frustrated and somehow I mumbled the words “Dear God, we have some talking to do”

I got back home and had a conversation with God, I have been trying to bottle up how I felt for a long while and somehow I just assumed God would never understand because I couldn’t even put my emotions into the right words and I had forgotten that God doesn’t need my eloquence but all that matters to him is that I come just as I am.

I had gotten to the peak that evening and I knew if I don’t find a way to let out my emotions I would only be hurting myself the more so I got into my room that evening and had a conversation with my heavenly father and the interesting part was that I didn’t have the say the words the tears was enough and I could feel the warmth of his presence.

I felt real peace that evening and I knew there was a shift. I might not have not gotten all the answers I needed but I can’t trade that peace for anything!

Dear God, are you even listening?

I don’t know what you are going through and I don’t what and where you are expecting the lord to come through for you but one thing is certain; if you can pray, He is ready to listen. There are some days where it feels as though God is far away because the challenges feel overwhelming but even on such days learn to rest in the arms of your loving father.

Prayer is not a one communication channel, it works in both ways while you talk be patient to listen to instructions but beyond that enjoy the fellowship and companionship of His presence. Don’t come into his presence with a perfect heart, if you are heartbroken tell him how you feel and you don’t have to say the perfect words.

The bible says in Hebrews 4: 15 “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are–yet he did not sin” (NIV). Jesus became human and he felt all you are feeling, how do you think God felt at that point when He had to deny his only son on the cross? He must have felt a big loss and his heart so broken and have you also thought of how Jesus felt too when his dear father who has never denied him of anything turned his back on him, no wonder he had to cry “my father, my father why have you forsaken me” and all this happened because the father loves us deeply.

We have a high priest who understands how exactly we feel. The next time your heart is so heavy and you can’t even process how you feel you can silently whisper the words or even scream it out loud “Dear God, we need to talk” with that you invite Him and even if you can’t find the right words just tell him how you feel and exchange your worries in worship.

THE LOVE ADVENTURE WITH SAPELE JACKSON

I was trying to check through Instagram to see what’s happening and all, then my eye caught something. It’s my friend Jackson he is getting married and I was so excited. I could be hopelessly romantic on some occasions and I get so excited when I have to share love stories, it actually proves the faithfulness of God.

I reached out to Jackson and he was more than ready to share his love story. I must appreciate his sincerity and humility to share this story. Love is a very beautiful thing when you find the right one and if there is one thing I have to come to discover is the fact that God writes the best stories.

Do me a favour, grab a bottle of Fanta and let’s go on this adventure together. I can assure you that you are in for a great ride!

Onome: let me start by saying a very big thank you for creating time out of your busy schedule to do this. What makes you special as an individual?

Jackson: You are welcome Onome, it’s a big honour. What makes me special? I would say new birth in Christ which has opened me up to a unique identity with Christ and eventually led to divine election and calling.

Onome: hmm, tell us something about you.

Jackson: I’m SAPELE Egwonor Jackson, a Nigerian citizen from Delta state, okpara inland in ethiope-east LGA to be precise. I’m a graduate of Sociology and Anthropology from Nnamdi Azikwe University Awka. I am currently based in Yala LGA of Cross River State, serving as a full-time pastor with Living faith church, Aka winners chapel under the mentorship and fatherhood of Bishop David O. Oyedepo.

Onome: Tell us about your waiting season

Jackson: Early years on campus I began to pray about my life partner. In my 200level, I made a silent prayer, asking God never to make me get married to a person that will bring dissatisfaction and lack of fulfilment to my life. I tried a couple of relationship two precisely but they didn’t work out, in all God was busy orchestrating my path I believe.

I decided to pursue purpose, I obeyed the call of God to go into full-time ministry and in my first assignment, I understood the real meaning of help meet. So I will say my waiting season was a period I focused on pursuing God’s divine purpose for my life. I believe it is purpose first before life partner. From experience, I discovered it is easier to discover your life partner while pursuing God’s purpose.

Onome: Thank you for that, so how did you meet your wife?

Jackson: As I said, I met her on my first missionary assignment. The very first day I reported, it was obvious to me that I have found my missing rib. I met her in church. The very first day I stepped into the church I was posted to serve, she was the one leading the opening worship, I couldn’t stop looking……. Onome, you know the rest.

Onome: (laughs) how did you know she was the one?

Jackson: Hmmm, sincerely, it took some time before I finally accepted what my heart desired. I was trying to heal from the past relationship, I wanted enough time, but God had a better plan for me, funny enough after few months of praying, seeking counsels, thinking(i thought more) and observing her as a friend, I discovered she’s the exact person I have been praying for right from my campus days. I had peace, lots of Joy and I was always satisfied and fulfilled talking with her. As friends, we could talk for several hours. I just knew and to crown it up, God gave a series of scriptures to back up my convictions.

Onome: How is it like preparing for your wedding?

Jackson: It’s exciting and fun-filled. Going out together for shopping, and other arrangements. Though we are doing more of reading marriage books, to gather adequate and sufficient knowledge for the life journey together.

Onome: What is the place of God in choosing a partner?

Jackson: The place of God is irreplaceable. When God is absent in a believers choice for a life partner, then someone or something else is present. I have always had the notion years ago, that God knows the future better than us. He knows the internal workings of everyman better than even our parents. God knows if someone is pretending or not, no man can deceive God, no matter how you think someone is good for a spouse, you will need to seek God’s face for approval and confirmation. Venturing without God’s leading and His backing is an unknown and unsafe journey.

Onome: What’s your advice to singles who are waiting?

Jackson: Your waiting time shouldn’t be wasted time, locate your God-given purpose for living and venture to it as led, that’s the best way to wait. Adam the first man was on his divine assignment and his wife met him there. Ignore anxiety and rest on God’s promises, the delay is never a denial. It doesn’t take time, it only takes God.

Onome: Thank you for this deep revelation, when is the wedding and I hope we are all invited?

Jackson: Of course everyone is invited if they can come. The wedding takes place on the 16^th of March at cross-river.

Onome: Thank you so much for your time.

Jackson: Anytime Onome, it’s a big honour.

Conclusion

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding” Proverbs 3: 5 (NKJV).

There is always time for everything and God has it all figured out. All you need to do is trust His timing and leading. Sometimes, the road is lonely and feels so long but you can be so sure God has got you and He is writing your story. Don’t try to steal the pen from Him, be patient because when God aligns you with your partner it is a forever kind of love story.

Congratulations to Jackson and Mercy, we wish them a happy married life!

Trust the father and enjoy the season, I look forward to sharing your love story.

Your friend and sister,

Onome Omodara

February 14, 2019February 14, 2019

LOVE AND ME WITH LIZZY

Hi,

My name is Lizzy and I’m here to tell you a story about what Love means to me and my journey with Love.

Growing up as a child, I never really understood what love meant and Valentine was just one of those days, I didn’t even such a day really existed and even when I knew it meant nothing.

My parents were meant to be my yardstick but from as a child, I never saw them show themselves any form of love ( let this not surprise you) my parents are African and expressing of love was just not a common thing while I was growing up, I grew up as a mean and sad child. At age 10 I left my parents and I grew worse.

I started staying with different people, moving from one family to another some treated me well and some didn’t but still I never really understood what Love meant.

I started dating at age 14 thinking dating someone would help me understand what Love is but then I hated those I dated at some point, it went on and on like that for a very long time. I got into the University and I hear so many of my friends fantasize about Love, then it occurred to me that love is here and then I said to myself “is this what Love truly is” I went ahead to date someone else, this time I didn’t even stay one week in the relationship as I started to grow pure hatred for him. Then I realized there’s more to love than dating or learning from other people experiences.

Life was going on as usual but some unusual happened to me, I came in contact with the person of Christ and for the first time I felt loved, I felt there was someone that loves me so much in spite of my errors and mistakes but then I still couldn’t reciprocate this love to people there was still a void in me that needs to be filled.

I dated this beautiful soul after my NYSC, with him I almost felt the same way I felt when I met Christ. This guy loved me unconditionally, he loved me with everything but then I still couldn’t reciprocate the love and at some point, I grew so much hatred for Him.

Having gone through all of these, I felt really devastated and confused. I became really bothered about myself, I wanted to know what really went wrong and then a question popped up in my heart “Christ loves you, people love you but do you love yourself? ” so I was quick to respond why not, I love myself why wouldn’t I? Really why wouldn’t I? Then I stopped to think well, I asked myself some basic questions and then I found out I never really loved myself.

I grew up never knowing who I really am, my identity was messed up, I lied to myself as often as I can remember. I crave for people’s opinions about me, I crave for their love but then I never loved myself. I felt I wasn’t good enough, I felt dead to myself.

Now I know what really went wrong, I couldn’t love others as much cause I never loved “ME”. I couldn’t stay in a relationship for so long because I never loved myself, I jumped from relationship to another seeking for someone to fill the space I was meant to fill myself. I never felt happy being single because I never loved me, I couldn’t even stay alone because I felt it was someone’s duty to make me feel loved.

I know what the problem was, and remember you can only provide a solution to a problem you know of. I started paying much more attention to who I really am, I started channelling love to myself. Yes, I tell myself I’m just good enough, I tell myself the best thing that is to be told. I remind myself each day about the love of God for me and it has kept me going.

It’s Valentine and I know you feel lonely, there’s no one to take you out. You feel jealous of friends that you know would definitely receive wonderful lots of valentine presents. If you love yourself I’m sure you wouldn’t feel strange staying alone on valentine and buying yourself a beautiful gift.

No one would ever love you more than you love yourself, you have to see yourself as the best to make someone find the best in you. Come to think of it Valentine is not just about boo and bae, it’s beyond what we find ourselves doing in this generation.

Valentine is a day to impact lives, a day to make people understand that they must first love themselves genuinely before they can love others and before someone can find them worthy of love.

Rather than wait for someone to love you, buy you a present or take you out. Love yourself, take yourself out, and give yourself that best treat you think you deserve. Enjoy your own company!

Be happy being single and if you are not single be sure not to make your happiness dependent on the other person.

I have promised myself to enjoy my day and have fun being by myself and I am content this way until God sends the right one.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Yours

,Lizzy!

February 14, 2019

A LETTER TO THE SINGLE AND BROKEN HEARTED

Dearest one,

It’s another Valentine and love is in the air. If you asked me about two or three years ago what Valentine meant I would probably tell you it’s that day people decide to be stupid. I hated Valentine, it’s one of the days I would wake up miserable and angry because I knew I was going to see a lot of ladies smile and blush over their rose flowers and perfumes but here I was; single, miserable, broken-hearted and lonely.

Trust me when I tell you I know how it feels to wake up in the morning with nobody sending a love message of how you rock their world, the feeling of getting a phone call from your best friend that her boo just proposed. How do you describe that feeling of emptiness that just envelopes you when you retire to your bed with no gift, not even a bottle of Fanta.

I have been where you are, I hated Valentine until last year when something changed. You think I found a man? I’m sorry but your guess is so wrong. No man had found me up until that time but I had come to understand what love really meant.

April 2017 the Lord called me to step into a new realm and that was a big step, you have heard me say it several times. I ditched other relationships and focused on his love for me, the truth is, I can’t boast of my love for him, I can only boast of his love for me.

This journey of singleness has opened my eyes to who I really am, I have been able to come to a place of accepting my personality and embrace my uniqueness. That is why I can gladly love this person I am growing to be and at the same time be able to accept love.

I wish I could tell you it was an easy ride but honestly, there were days I wanted to break down and just hop into the arms of the next man that comes my way but today I can tell you that the wait is always worth it.

I know you are broken hearted, you are smiling and laughing with everyone but deep within you are broken, wounded and hurt. You can’t understand why someone you loved passionately would decide to hurt you. You don’t even know how to love anymore but I need you to see the brighter days ahead because soon you will rejoice.

I have seen God rewrite stories and turn things around but you need to be content with who you are, accept your person. The truth is, you are the one who decides your joy, and until you love yourself nobody will love you rightly.

My life feels like a fairy tale sometimes and I can tell you that your dream relationship is very possible. Trust the process and allow the father to write your story. I have seen write my story in a way that sounds like a fairy tale, I wake up every day as a grateful child, one the father loves exceptionally! My story is one that tells you that God is the best writer of love stories!

I know the next fear is but how do I love again when I find the right one. This fear was in my face every day, I thought I had forgotten how to love, I thought I was going to mess things up so I tried to be perfect but the one God has for you will help you, the one God has for you will not leave you hanging. The one God has for you will be an expression of the father’s love.

Today, love yourself, treat yourself right. Get yourself a gift and appreciate where you are right now and embrace the father’s love.

God is writing the perfect love story for you don’t steal the pen with impatience.

You are worth loving!

You are worth chasing!

Happy Valentine’s Day sweetie.

Your friend and sister,

Onome Omodara