Hi there!
This is Onome, a passionate writer and speaker. My vision is to help singles walk in purpose and find joy while waiting and also see them walk into their glorious marriages.
Beyond relationships, I also want everyone to see the beauty they carry and make the whole world see the light of Jesus.
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“He isn’t here! He is risen from the dead, just as he said would happen. Come, see where his body was lying.” (Mathew 28:6) NLT
Life feels so hard, nothing is working and I just want
to die.
Those were my words, I said that for so many years. I
thought of suicide a lot of times but I never dared to try it, I was thirsty
for affection and I desperately needed someone to love me. I cried myself to
sleep so many nights and maybe no one loves me after all.
The church was somewhere I found myself because I had
no choice, when I heard people share testimonies about God and how he spoke to
them, I was jealous because I wanted what they had.
I read the bible every night because momma would ask if
I had my quiet time, I enjoyed reading the stories other parts were boring as
far as I was concerned. Where was this God who did all these things recorded in
the bible? I had a lot of questions but who would answer them.
That was my story that was me. The one who didn’t
deserve love and mercy, the one condemned to die. The devil reminded me of my
pains but all Christ had to do was show me Calvary where he bled for me. He
brought me freedom and grace.
Thank God the story did not end at Calvary, he was taken down to the tomb and on the third day, He resurrected!!!
I can’t contain my joy that he arose. He went to hell
and fought for my freedom, he defeated death so that I won’t die, he defeated
sicknesses and diseases that I might live in total health. He took the fall
just for me.
It took me years to understand what love meant and when
I did my life took a new turn. I could understand those testimonies I was
jealous about because when you come in contact with the father of light you
radiate his light.
Today, all you have to do is thank God that Jesus has
risen!
Your salvation is eternal.
CONCLUSION
“I have told you all this so that you may have
peace in me. Here on earth, you will have many trials and sorrows. But take
heart, because I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33) NLT
I understand what pain means, I know what it means to
desperately want approval but the truth is you have been looking for answers in
the wrong places. Love has been knocking and all you have to do is open the
door.
No one can love you the way Christ loves you. He paid
the price for our freedom, he purchased us with His blood and gave us victory.
Let me end this article with the lyrics of my favourite
hymn.
The strife is o’er, the battle done by Francis
Pott
The strife is o’er, the battle done;
The victory of life is won;
The song of triumph has begun:
Alleluia!
The pow’rs of death have done their worst;
But Christ their legions has dispersed;
Let shouts of holy joy outburst:
Alleluia!
The
three sad days are quickly sped;
He rises glorious from the dead;
All glory to our risen Head:
Alleluia!
He closed the yawning gates of hell;
The bars from heav’n’s high portals fell;
Let hymns of praise His triumphs tell:
Alleluia!
Culled from
(https://library.timelesstruths.org/music/The_Strife_Is_Oer_the_Battle_Done/)
When you are searching for love, just look at Calvary!
I recently started a podcast called “Naked” it centres on relationships and inspirations. Check it out and let me know what you think, click here to listen to my latest podcast and if you would love to download click here.
I almost forgot I promised God, that if He sponsors our wedding, I would share the testimony. When my husband reminded me last week, I knew the time had come to share our wedding testimony.
It was my birthday and I was meditating with the father asking Him what He would have me do this New Year and he said marriage was the next assignment. I was genuinely surprised because I felt I wasn’t ready and kept asking myself where the money for the wedding ceremony would come from. That same day, my lover proposed and I knew God meant business. After the Euphoria of the proposal, I had to ask my lover how we were going to do the wedding because there was no money anywhere and we had no rich uncles to run to.
It wasn’t just that, my lover had taken a loan from a
microfinance bank about four months ago that he was still repaying and it
didn’t make any sense that we would choose to get married when he was not done
paying the loan but all that mattered to us was that God had given a go ahead and
we were ready to obey.
After the date was chosen, we started praying and each time we prayed God kept speaking to us that he was with us. I panicked, I was scared but each time I prayed I felt this peace that passes human understanding.
Three months to the wedding, it wasn’t looking like it;
then the Holy Spirit started teaching me about confessions. He told me to write
what I wanted for the wedding. He also gave me Philippians 4:19 (MSG) and I
went ahead to write my confessions. I started making the confessions morning
and night. Each time I made the confessions I felt this new level of
confidence. Two months to the wedding, it still wasn’t looking like it. Our
invitation cards were not ready and it felt as though the wedding would be
postponed.
My faith began to shake but my lover kept encouraging
me. Watching him make plans even without the finances boosted my faith; so I
took the backseat to see what God would do. I remember having a vigil with my
close friends I call sisters and we prayed together. A word of prophecy came
out that God would supply all my needs and I should just relax. I started
praising God knowing He would come through.
We were preparing to travel home for our counselling session when the Lord told me to sow a seed. I didn’t feel like it because I already had a budget for the money at hand and as at that time, I had not bought anything and the wedding was just in two months. I called my husband and he told me to go ahead with the seed that if we wanted God to sponsor the wedding, then we have to be obedient 100%. I sowed the seed in faith and by January God started coming through.
The finances started coming in and for every monetary
gift we received, we paid our tithes and in some cases, we even paid 20%. It
felt stupid but since we wanted God to be the sponsor, we had to trust Him
completely. Our invitations came out a month to our wedding and honestly we
still had a lot to do. Needs kept coming and God kept providing. The wedding
day was getting closer and God kept sending men our way to help us. Our parents
kept sharing testimonies every day of how God was sending men to help and
support them, they would tell us how this person dropped this and how that
person donated that. I was just so dumbfounded because indeed God came through.
Two days to the wedding, my mum called me to tell me
that we were yet to buy drinks. I was worried but I knew God that started the
good work will complete it so I went on to sort some other needs and I
completely forgot but God did it again.
My mum was telling me after the wedding how God showed up that He didn’t just provide the drinks, there was even more than enough funds to sort out every other need.
It still felt like a dream. God had gone ahead of us to
make all the crooked paths straight. He made the two days glorious and He alone
deserves all the glory. I also want to say a big thank you to all our friends
who decided to take up the ministry of intercession; we could feel your prayers
and a lot of them also made sacrifices. We had friends who gave their all,
cancelled all their appointments and travelled from Thursday till Sunday. We
love you guys passionately.
We enjoyed the gift of men and God showed Himself
faithful indeed.
CONCLUSION
“God is not a man that He should lie, Nor the son
of man that He should repent.
Has He said, and will He not do it? Or has He spoken and will He not make it good and fulfil it?” (Numbers 23:19) Amplified bible
Planning a wedding for us was a step of faith; all we
did was obey God. What is that assignment God is asking you to do or is He even
telling you to get married but the present circumstances does not look like it?
Our wedding is proof that God never fails. Our resources were not enough but he multiplied our little and gave us abundance. The journey of faith requires obedience and complete trust in God knowing that He will do what He says.
If your wedding is around the corner and you are trusting God please don’t give up and at the same time don’t try to impress anyone. I tried my best not to put my husband under any pressure because I didn’t want him angry and cranky after the wedding.
We planned with what we had and God surpassed our
imaginations. I don’t know what you are trusting God for but let our testimony
be a proof that there is a God who never fails and with Jesus in your boat, you
can smile at the storm. When it feels tough, keep praising and dancing, that
weapon confuses the enemy.
God never fails.
If you missed our love story click here to read it.
Forgive me, I know it has been a while. I have been up to a number of things; reason
I’ve been AWOL.
I have got news!
Your baby girl is getting married!!!
I am about to give you all the juicy details of our love story.
HOW WE MET
I took a decision to be single
until the Lord sends my man (see my book, ‘Single Without Wrinkle’, for the full
details). I wasn’t ready for a relationship, I was just enjoying my waiting
season. During that period, I had been praying for a job. I finally got invited
for an interview in one of the companies I applied to. The D-Day came and I
aced the interview. I got called to resume work on a Tuesday morning. Upon my
arrival on resumption day, I was asked to wait for the HR; that was when I met
Daniel.
While waiting for the HR, this handsome
dark-skinned young man walked up to me and said ‘hello’ amidst smiles. Although
I wasn’t friendly, he however went on to introduce himself with the smile
sculpted on his face (oh! he had such a cute smile). I told him my name and
mentioned I was there to see the HR.
The HR finally arrived and guess what? I got sent back home because I was wearing a jean (the tomboy in me decided to embarrass me that day). I resumed the next morning, officially dressed and who did I meet….again? Daniel! As usual, he smiled and this time around, I smiled back as I was in a better mood. I overheard him talking about a Lecrae concert and how he didn’t want to miss the programme. In the course of the conversation, he mentioned being a member of Covenant Christian Center. That was all I needed to hear as I had just recently started listening to Pastor Poju and looked forward to being under his ministration live.
I asked for his number in a bid
to go to church with him on Sunday and that was how we got talking. We went to
church together as planned and became good friends. We talked about the bible
and sometimes prayed together, all I saw in him was a “brother”.
I don’t know how it happened but
I knew I started developing feelings for my so called ‘brother.’ I rejected it.
I even took it a step further by praying and fasting. I kept telling God to
remove the feelings but the more I prayed, the more it grew. Eventually, I had
to call my spiritual father who told me to stop fighting but surrender it back
to God.
I couldn’t run away because we
worked in the same company and that was also a reason why I didn’t want the
feelings to grow. I didn’t want to date someone I would see every day. I
started avoiding him but he would always come around. One day, he told me we
needed to talk.
We agreed to meet at Coldstone
creamery. That day, he said to me “Onome
Omodara you are a treasure, you are like that bible passage that says a man
sells all he has just to buy the treasure, but Onome I need time” I can’t
forget those words. If you have read ‘There was a girl’, you will understand
why those words meant a lot to me. I got home and cried. No one had ever said
that to me. I had been told I am smart, beautiful, and intelligent but
treasure? That hit me.
On the 2nd of May 2018, he officially asked me out. He didn’t ask me to be his girlfriend; he told me to be his wife. I was shocked and kept wondering what he saw in me. I told him to give me a month and he never pressured me. I prayed and waited for confirmation. I wasn’t ready to go through another cycle of heartbreak so I wanted to be sure.
On the 29th of May 2018, I said yes to him because it felt so right; I was at peace. Everything the Lord had said to me during my waiting season was apt when we started dating.
Daniel was intentional about our
relationship; his love for me was so obvious. He was always willing to make
sacrifices. There were days I thought we would break up but he would always say
to me “Onome, I am not loving you by my own strength, mine would fail but God
is my strength”. Daniel has been my safe place. Challenges have come our
way but this man stood by me. This man prays with me and for me. He believes in
my vision. He is God sent!
THE PROPOSAL
It was my birthday and my boss had told me she was throwing a birthday dinner for me and I should invite my close friends (I was surprised but happy to have a party). The day came and I saw my sister from Ibadan at the dinner; she appeared like a thief in the night (Fam, I was surprised). My friends came around and we were really having fun.
The waiter came in and said I had a special order, I opened and it was a ring! I wanted to run away (where was I running to sef?) The man of my dreams went down one knee asking me to marry him.
It was surreal. It showed that the wait is always worth it.
I have said enough.
I interviewed my man and he has something to tell you
Enjoy
Tell us something about yourself
I am a graduate of computer
science from the great Tai Solarin University of Education. Obviously I’m a
Christian (smile). I am the first born from a family of four. I am passionate
about Christ, my career and whatever I set my mind to do. I am a focused and
purpose driven person with great leadership capacity. I see myself as a servant-leader
as I enjoy taking up responsibilities irrespective of any position I am in.
At what point were you sure Onome was the one?
(Deep sigh!) Well, it’s not like
I heard a voice from heaven or something “spectacular” just like the
days of Adam (smile), when something is right, you just know; the spirit bears
witness remember. I don’t mean to sound too spiritual but pardon me; that is my
default. Like the saying goes “Opposite attracts”. Onome is a
“wokilumo” kinda person to put it in English, you will always notice
her when she enters a room as oppose to my kinda nature; I am a reserved
person. So I saw in her a woman that together we can do great things for
Christ.
Onome is outspoken without being
rude and very intelligent. Since men will always look at the outward, Onome is
beautiful to behold and young at heart. Above all, I saw in Onome a woman that
can help “womb” a vision and birth great dreams. A woman strong in
the things that I seemed to be weak in.
What makes Onome special to you as a person?
(Deep breath) Permit me to keep the
details to myself (smiles). But really, when you truly love someone you may not
have a “special” reason for loving him/her. You just
“apape” (add them together) them. Sometimes what makes somebody
special to you could be the strength they exhibit that wowed your weakness.
Many ladies have done wonderful things for me but the core of who she is,
outclassed them all!
How do you feel about getting married?
CAPITAL MIXED FEELINGS (laughs)
but I look forward to it.
What’s your most exciting memory about her?
The one I am yet to experience
with her because every moment with her is a blessing.
THE CHARA WEDDING
We decided to use the chara
wedding as our hashtag because we wanted a word that depicted exactly how we
felt and “JOY” was the perfect word. Chara is a Greek word that means Joy.
CONCLUSION
“He hath made everything beautiful in his time”
(Ecclesiastes 3:11a)
God is very intentional and each
time I look at Daniel I am just reminded of God’s love. People have asked me
how I feel about getting married and all I can say is “I am grateful”. If you
know my story you will understand that God is faithful.
I don’t know how you feel right
now but I need you to know that God has not forgotten you. Your marriage is
going to happen and it’s going to be a testimony!
Her aura speaks peace, her intelligence and depth got me
attracted and I asked myself “who is this girl?”. From the moment I heard her
speak, I knew she had to be my friend. Ify is not your regular tech lady; she
is an amazing personality. We got
talking the first time we had to work on a project. The passion she puts in her
career is applaudable.
I was surprised when I heard she was getting married; not because she is too young but because she was just too calm to be preparing for a wedding. I wondered what her secret was and even after her wedding, she was still glowing.
I sat down with Ify one beautiful afternoon after her
honeymoon and we had a chat about her wedding preparations and the place of
love in relationships.
Take a bottle of cold Fanta and sip, as we have a chat with
Ify
ONOME: Tell us a
little about yourself
IFY: I am Ify N. Ebelebe, a tech enthusiast. I am an individual who loves to learn and apply new skills. I am quiet when surrounded with people I’m not familiar with but jovial with close pals. I love simplicity and I also enjoy my space.
ONOME: At what point in your life did you start thinking about
your marriage?
IFY: You can call me a geek but what matters to me is
learning new skills and applying it, so marriage wasn’t on the table for me in
my undergraduate days but after I finished school I had to ask myself what I
wanted from life and while thinking about that, I knew someday I would get
married. It’s safe to say I started thinking of marriage a year after my
Undergraduate days.
ONOME: How did you meet your husband?
IFY: We attended the same University but never talked nor greeted. We met again during NYSC at a conference organized by NCCF. We only greeted and parted ways. Not until we met at the wedding of a University colleague, where he sat on the same table I sat with other colleagues. He cracked jokes and made everyone laugh. We got talking after the wedding and exchanged phone numbers and the rest they say is history.
ONOME: When did you become certain he was the one you wanted
to spend the rest of your life with?
IFY: That’s a very interesting question Onome and very important. Love is very important but at the same time it is not the only thing you need to be convinced. I became certain he was the one because amidst the love his presence brought an unexplainable joy and peace and his dreams and goals align with mine.
ONOME: How did you feel the first time you were going to
meet his parents?
IFY: Meeting the parents, that’s a lot. We are from different tribes so I was really nervous and also excited that he was going to meet my parents. I initially felt my parents would say no because of the tribal difference but it was a different story entirely. They love him and his own parents welcomed me with love too.
ONOME: How is it like preparing for a wedding ceremony?
IFY: Preparing for a wedding ceremony can be stressful especially when you have no event planner. I didn’t have the chance to shop during the week because of work. I only had weekends to do my shopping and planning. I tried as much as possible not to be excessive in spending since it was just going to be a day event; I could be very strict when it comes to budgeting. I stuck strictly to what I needed and nothing more. I wrote a list of all I needed in order of priority and it really helped in managing my finances.
ONOME: If you had the chance to change something about your
wedding day what would it be?
IFY: My wedding day? Absolutely nothing! I had the time of my life and I was able to manage my finances well. It’s a day I can’t forget!
ONOME: What’s your advice to every bride preparing for her big day?
IFY: Spend wisely. This is very important. Don’t put your fiancé under pressure. Don’t try to please anyone because after that day you are left alone with your spouse to face the music. Cut your coat according to your cloth. Do not panic before the D-day because that day will come and pass and finally make sure you enjoy your day. Don’t allow anything to get you angry or upset. You are the bride! it’s your day, so don’t forget to smile.
ONOME: What is the place of God in marriage?
IFY: The way I see it is that He is the centre of a successful marriage. He is a very important factor and without Him, there is no successful marriage!
ONOME: What do you love about your husband?
IFY: A lot but these are on top of my list; He is neat,
jovial and very caring.
ONOME: How does it feel adjusting to the new life of being
married?
IFY: I see it as a learning process. It’s been fun trying
new things. Adjusting is the big thing but I’m getting there but above all, it’s
been an interesting ride so far; I’m really enjoying it.
ONOME: Thank you so much Ify, it’s been great talking to
you. Thank you for being so real and honest.
IFY: The pleasure is mine, Onome. Thank you for having me.
CONCLUSION
“Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done.” Philippians 4: 6 (NLT).
Weddings are beautiful moments that can’t be erased and at
the same time, pressures would always come around but you need to stop
worrying. One of the things that attracted Ify to me was that state of rest she
had. For a bride who had no event planner, she felt too relaxed; but this lady
just knew God would come through and He sure did. Her wedding was a massive
success.
Dear couples to be, you need to plan and relax. Don’t try to
please anyone. Weddings will come and go but the marriage should be your
priority. Everyone would go home but your partner is all you have; so don’t
lose each other while planning your big day.
Don’t forget to speak into existence what you want for your marriage, confess positive things and close your ears to all negativity. Somehow everybody has the best advice for you when you are getting married, but you need to be sensitive and allow the Holy Spirit to guide you.
To everyone preparing for their big day, it’s going to be a glorious day.
