Onomewrites

May 4, 2022May 4, 2022

MY PREGNANCY JOURNAL: MONTH 2

This was a very dramatic month; I felt I would die at some point. The vomiting increased, and I had to visit the hospital. I was told I couldn’t register for antenatal until week 12 or 13, which was after month 3. The doctor ran some tests, and they discovered I had an infection.

I felt like crying; you mean, I have an infection with all I’m going through. The doctor said they found some blood in my urine, so they had to place me on antibiotics immediately. The two weeks I spent using antibiotics was terrible. I was losing weight terribly because I couldn’t eat anything.

It was this same month I had my birthday. My husband had a lot planned out, but unfortunately, I was not in good shape. I had lost a lot of weight, so I looked terrible. I couldn’t eat anything; all the food he got for me couldn’t stay in my stomach. I felt for my husband because he got my birthday party all figured out.

I spent my mornings crying because the infection made me itchy and my stomach hurt. Using the drugs was worse, and I just couldn’t wait for everything to go away. I was not even interested in praying. I felt so lonely because I had no pregnant friend around me.

Pregnancy can be a very lonely journey; please, if you can find a young mother around you that you can trust, talk to her. I remember speaking to a friend whose baby was just one year old. Shout out to you, Mary Oladapo. This lady helped me stay calm and shared her experience with me. After listening to her story, I knew I was not alone but all along, I was silently praying for another friend in Nigeria because Mary is in London.

Well, vomiting took a severe turn, and I couldn’t keep food in my stomach at all. Everything I ate was going down the toilet sink. My husband looked at me one morning, and I could see that he was worried. He held me and said, “babe, please try to eat. You look very skinny” I started crying, and I told him I was trying. Just blame the tears on pregnancy hormones because your girl is a hard girl.

My husband had to take me to the hospital on a Sunday morning because I was so weak that I couldn’t keep anything down, and the infection was still there. I got to the hospital, and they did a series of tests again and decided they would admit me. That was how I found myself collecting drips and injections for three days. They gave me more antibiotics, and honestly, the food I ate in that hospital was royal. I guess my baby understands royalty because fam, your girl did not throw up for one day, but the minute my husband brought food from the house, I would throw it up, so he stopped bringing food. Let me pause to thank my baby sister Adeyemi Victoria who had to come to stay with me and help me take care of the house.

I was discharged and given plenty of drugs. Well, the vomiting stopped but not completely. A week later, I found myself reacting to perfumes. Nobody could use perfume around me. Once I smelled it, I would throw up.

My favourite food became something I didn’t want to see. I would barely eat two spoons. I wasted food so much. My sister Adeoye Jumoke had to come around because Victoria was leaving; she had to go back to work. Jumoke made my life easier by helping in the house; thank you, baby girl.

Pregnant women, don’t try to do it by yourself. Take it easy on yourself. If you can get help, please do. Me sef dey advice pregnant women hehehehe.

Tomorrow, I will tell you all about month 3……

May 3, 2022May 2, 2022

MY PREGNANCY JOURNAL: MONTH 1

Let me start by saying pregnancy is a beautiful experience, and I think it should be compared to having a cultural shock. One minute you are surprised, and the next minute, you adjust. I know I said getting pregnant was not in my plan for 2021, but the truth was that I had battled with fear for a long time. Fear that I would never get pregnant, I was always worried when I had any health challenge. I would cringe when anyone teased me about pregnancy because it was a major fear. I will share the whole story of how I overcame this fear and how God gave us this miracle in my next podcast episode; please don’t miss it.

You know how Nollywood prepares you for pregnancy. When you see someone running to the toilet to vomit then you know she is pregnant. Errhm, in my case, nothing prepared me for the morning sickness and throwing up. I became so pale and tired. The minute I eat, I must throw up. I did not like myself. Well, I lost my job this month, so I don’t have to go to the office (you can read the full gist here). I stayed in bed. I tried doing my regular duties, but I got tired easily. Forget all the English. There is nothing fun about throwing up and morning sickness. I watched myself fall in love with that yellow crackers biscuit. The biscuit they cannot dash me on a normal day; nonsense and ingredient. My husband did not understand how I was feeling; uncle turned it to spiritual warfare, he would pray and expect me not to vomit again, but no, it’s like it became worse. I had zero energy, and I was gradually losing weight.

When next you see a pregnant woman, please render some support because mehn this journey is not easy. The worse part was that I couldn’t pray. I just wanted to be in bed all day.

Praying was hard, but I made sure I talked to God because there were days the devil brought thoughts to my head that I would not carry this pregnancy to the end, but my strength was in God. I won’t sugarcoat and tell you it was easy. It was not easy. I would spend some mornings crying after throwing up. It was so painful watching my husband cook, and then I vomited it. It was an experience, but looking back, it was all worth it.

The beautiful thing about month one was doing a scan; even though the baby was not so visible and I couldn’t see anything, the feeling was surreal. It was so beautiful to see life growing inside of me. I still wasn’t so happy because morning sickness was not joking.

Let’s meet tomorrow as I tell you all about month 2.

May 2, 2022May 2, 2022

MY PREGNANCY JOURNAL

You know how you go about enjoying and shamelessly pursuing your purpose. I started 2021 that way; getting pregnant was not even in my goals. Please blame it on my career goals. I planned to use 2021 to sort out my career and venture into a new career path, but izz like pe God had other plans.

The day started like any regular Monday morning, but before then, I had been feeling dizzy, but it wasn’t a big deal because I feel dizzy when I am stressed. This Monday morning, I went to the office. I was fine and very active.

I had my food in my flask because I woke up early to cook; that was how active I was. I finished eating around ten, and before I knew what was going on, I started vomiting like a dog and felt so weak.

The next day, the scenario repeated itself, and I knew something was wrong. Let me tell you a back story, I react to food a lot, so I can’t just eat anywhere; when I eat what my body is uncomfortable with, I throw up and feel dizzy.

When it happened two days in a row, I decided to change my food, but the next day the story was the same, I kept vomiting every morning, but instead of feeling dizzy, I suddenly felt weak. My husband jokingly teased that I was pregnant, but we both waved it off.

A week later, I was still vomiting, so I told myself pe let me go and do a pregnancy test. I bought a test kit, and the kit gave me a single line which meant negative. However, I remembered reading somewhere that when the pregnancy is still early, the levels of a hormone called human chorionic gonadotropin (HCG) are not so high, so it is not visible; it is why a blood test is recommended so, ladies and gentlemen I could not be happy yet.

Three days later, we strolled to the laboratory to get a blood pregnancy test done, and it came out positive. I couldn’t place my feelings, but I knew I was not happy, and I was not sad. So many questions. Was I even ready to be somebody’s mother? Will I look sexy (blame this one on social media). I ran to tell my husband, and guess what? This young man started laughing. I still don’t get what’s funny. Something that we did together o, he looked at me and said congratulations. I was just dumbfounded. We were both in the same phase. The question was, are we really ready to be parents. I’m sure God was having a good laugh watching us.

We decided to tell our parents; those ones were just dramatic. My mother-in-law sang for more than 10 minutes, and I was just confused; mama was happier than any one of us. Then I called my mother, Revd of the year, my mother went all prophetic, and she said you have made me proud, hehehe, on top of this pregnancy. I have concluded that giving Nigerian parents grandchildren will always be the best gift because I didn’t get this reaction when I graduated from the university or got my first job. Their reactions brought me out of my shell, and I knew it was time to face reality.

That was how the journey began……………………..

I promise to give you all the juicy details about how it went down each month. So join me tomorrow as I take you through my 9-month pregnancy journey day by day.

April 27, 2022September 27, 2022

CHARIS ALARA – EMERGING VOICE OF LITERATURE AND STORYTELLING

Making waves as a Creative Writer in Nigeria is no small feat. It requires lots of passion, perseverance, patience, and consistency. These are the qualities – and some more – that make Charis Alara a force to reckon with in the Creative Writing and Literature space.

Charis Alara started a full-time professional career in the creative writing and literature space upon graduating for her first degree in Estate Management. One would wonder how she managed the switch from Social Sciences to the Arts but this is something she has done gracefully.

Charis is a Nigerian Writer, Storyteller, Creative Writing Coach, and Editor with over four years of experience actively exploring the literary and creative industry both within and outside Nigeria. She is the founder of The360Writer, one of Nigeria’s creative writing platform geared toward writers’ development. Through The360Writer, Charis has helped new and aspiring writers find their bearing and make a living out of their passions.

Being a multitalented Creative Writer is just one of the numerous creative hats Charis wears. Last year, she was one of the 50 selected Nigerians for the Chevening Scholarship, one of the most prestigious scholarships in the world. She is currently studying at Brunel University, London for a Masters’ in Creative Writing

Not only is Charis an excellent writer, but she also doubles as a Poet when the situation calls for it. What’s more? She made her debut appearance as an international spoken word poet during the recently concluded International Women’s Day event themed #breakthebias.

If you are an aspiring writer looking to build a career in the writing and literary space, Charis Alara is proof that your dreams are valid.

That’s all for the Creative Spotlight today, join us next month for the next episode.

March 26, 2022March 26, 2022

DEAR GOD, I WANT WHAT BANKY AND ADESUA HAVE

In May 2017, social media and blogs were on fire. Everyone was reposting and sharing this love story. Two A-list celebrities just got engaged. It was so sweet and cheesy; our faves were getting married. I remember that season of my life because I had just ended a relationship and was having a love walk with the lord.

I was so jealous of this love story. I remember when they announced they were getting married in November 2017, everyone wanted to be a part of their wedding. I was one of the people who stayed glued on Instagram to watch their wedding live. We, the online guests, really meant business. I watched their vows with admiration. I can’t even deny I want what they have.

When Banky released that track, he called “Susu’s Song”, I streamed it all the time. I just love these two. I want a man like Banky. I have always wanted a man who can sing all my life. I wanted a man who would release a track for me, too, it’s so goofy, but I love it. Banky felt like the perfect man; I’m sure God was up there laughing and wondering when this child would trust me.

I’m not a hopeless romantic, but I love to see beautiful marriages. I love it when a man dotes on his woman and is not shy to acknowledge it. When I met my husband, he was not Banky W; well, he can hold a key sometimes when he is singing, but no offence if that man releases a track, I’m not buying it because it’s not his calling, lol.

I almost lost a good man because I wanted him to be the man I had envisioned, so when we started dating, we had some silly arguments because I wanted him to be what God did not create him to be. I kept trying to make him into something he was not. I was angry when he was not working on any project; I just wanted him to be out there like Banky W.

Somewhere in my heart, I was comparing him to somebody I had never met. One day, the Holy Spirit asked me, “Do you trust me? then remove the idol in your heart and let me mould this man”.

That was the day I buried my obsession and trusted the father with this man He gave me. My relationship got better, and I allowed my partner to be the man God wants him to be. When I look at him, I am grateful and blessed to have a patient man like him because it takes patience to deal with me.

I don’t know if you are anything like me, you want a love story like your favourite celebrity couple but can I advise that you trust God with those dreams and lists. The person you admire has their flaws, don’t compare your partner to somebody else; it’s not nice.

CONCLUSION

“Find your delight and true pleasure in Yahweh, and he will give you what you desire the most. Give God the right to direct your life, and as you trust him along the way, you’ll find he pulled it off perfectly” (Psalm 37:4-5) TPT

When you find your delight in God, He will grant your desires. I did not marry a Banky W. I married the one for me who treats me like a queen. Everything I wanted, God gave me more. God knows more than you, so I challenge you to rip that list and let the father give you beyond your imagination. God can be trusted!

You are loved!

Yours,

Papa and Onome.