Author: Onome Omodara

THE VALUE OF TIME
Every man who has a dream has two phases to go through, the first phase is the DREAM PHASE this is the phase where you start nursing your dream, where you start imagining where you want be and the second phase is the MANIFESTATION PHASE, this phase comes when your good dreams have come to pass when you are really fulfilled.

There is something between the dream and manifestation phase and that is “TIME” your dreams will not come to pass in one day, one great investment God gave every human being equally is time, it is how productive your time is that determines how and when your manifestation will take place. A lot of people spend their own time complaining, grumbling and lamentation and they might never achieve anything good, just because you failed the first time you attempted something does not mean you are a failure, you need to try again.
I know you have big dreams and it looks as if it will not to come to pass, I want to ask you what are you doing with the gift of time you’ve been given? You need to give yourself time and be diligent you don’t have to rush things because if you manifest before the actual time I’m afraid you will soon be forgotten. The phase of time is a great determinant of how your manifestation will be, you need to invest your time in productive things, plan your dreams, set goals be determined and be diligent. God is not a magician but He is a miracle worker, he doesn’t bless empty hands, he only adds to what is in your hands so as to multiply, stop being so lazy you need to wake up and be diligent. Every great man is a good investor of time, Cristiano Ronaldo spent all his time practicing and learning new skills in football and he ended up becoming the world best footballer in 2013, It was Malcolm Gladwell who said in his book Outliers that there are no geniuses, the world is filled with men who have dedicated their time in hours of practice to be a better person.  You’ve all it takes to succeed stop complaining and start working.
CONCLUSION

Charles Darwin said “A man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of time” you need to stop wasting your time and energy over irrelevant things you need to get up and pursue your dreams, your good dreams will definitely come pass, it doesn’t matter how many times you have failed you need to get and move on, it’s not time to cry and lament it’s time to move on and dream again. You are a success don’t settle for less! Don’t waste your time invest it so that you are reap the good dividends tomorrow.
I believe in you!
God bless you!!!

SELF- ESTEEM
It was a dark and lonely night and the room was so empty, all she could see was her shadows, like a fragile bird looking for safety she crawled around her bed and all she could do was cry all alone, she felt lost and empty with her eyes flowing with uncontrollable tears. Right there in that room she wished the morning would never come she just hated life, her mind and her cerebrum were not helping matters as they took her through the journey of what a mess her life has been and all she could do was cry harder, she was tired of forcing herself on people, she had become a terrible liar just to get people’s attention,She just wanted to be happy, she wanted to be seen and she wanted to be loved.
Many people like this young lady have felt dejected, rejected and unloved they keep asking themselves every day what exactly is the problem?
What is self-esteem?
Self-esteem is simply how we value ourselves, how we make the world value us. It is the way we think and feel about ourselves and finally it is a state of the mind. There are majorly two types of self-esteem
1.High self-esteem
2. Low self-esteem

High self –esteem
A person with a high esteem feels so secured, strong and positive, they are always confident.
Low self-esteem
A person with a low self-esteem feels so unworthy, incapable, unloved and this feeling stops individuals from reaching their full potential.
  Low self-esteem is a dream eater; it stops individuals from reaching their full potential, individuals with low self-esteem often get scared of confronting people, they get so scared of sharing their ideas and thoughts because they feel they cannot be accepted. A low self-esteem individual is dying to get attention and so does some crazy things to get attention, some of them go to the extent of lying to loved ones claiming to be who they are not.

Signs of low self-esteem
Blaming others
Negative view about life
Fear of taking risks and fear of being ridiculed
Feelings of being unloved
Lack of trust in people
Self-pity
Low self-esteem can be caused by so many factors but what matters is how you deal with it, low self-esteem can kill your dreams because it makes you view it as impossible and it makes you look down on yourself, it gives you room for self-pity. Helen Keller said “Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in the world”.
How can low self-esteem be dealt with?
To deal with low self-esteem you need to believe in yourself, pay more attention to your thoughts think positively, have a self-talk all the time when you look at the mirror every morning tell yourself “I am beautiful, I am smart, I am talented, I can do this, I am so intelligent, nothing can stop from making it. As you begin to appreciate yourself the real you comes out for the world to see, you don’t need to beg for attention because you will attract the right people. If you want to others to love you then you need to love yourself, Oscar Wilde said “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance” if you don’t love you nobody can love you.

Conclusion
You are the best of your kind when God created you He created you unique don’t allow people or circumstances make you feel less important, you are designed to excel! Raise your head high and walk with confidence because you are special and the best you can be is number one.
“Friendship with oneself is all important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else” – Eleanor Roosevelt.
Self-esteem comes from being able to define the world in your own terms and refusing to abide on the judgments of others”- Oprah Winfrey.

Make yourself valuable and be proud of who you are, nobody can make you feel less, believe in yourself and keep shinning! You are the best!
God bless you.

LETTING GO!
I just hate you! Don’t you get it? Just leave me alone those were her words to Daniel; Daniel had always wanted a relationship with her. He would stalk her then send all her friends to her, just to make her see how much he loves her but she would not go out with him. Those words went down to his spine but why would she hate him? He kept wondering. She wouldn’t stop shouting at him Are you deaf or seriously drunk? I said leave my house now! like a little boy whose mum forgot his birthday, with his eyes so red and close to tears, he turned around and left. She hissed and continued to watch the movie.
Her friend, Esther, walked up to her and sat beside her. With a soft voice, she said, What is it with you and men? But she shouted at her Esther too I just need some peace! she hissed and continued with her movie.
Esther looked into her eyes with love and affection then said, we have been friends for so long and yet I don’t really understand you. You keep sending every guy away, Sandra! please talk to me. This is our final year in the university; you should be in a relationship by now. (Sandra and Esther have been friends and roommates from their first year in the university).
Susan looked at Esther with tears in her eyes and said You will never understand, just let me be Esther sensed she was hurt but since she didn’t want to bother her, she deiced to change the topic…So are you still going for the super Lady’s programme tomorrow? Susan just wanted to be alone but she knew Esther will never take NO for an answer, she then replied If it will make you leave me alone, ‘yes’ I will go. With a big smile on her face, Esther gave her a hug and told her, she was going to see her boyfriend. She went to get dressed and left the room.
The super lady programme was really getting interesting has the organizers had invited top dancers and musicians to entertain the audience, Esther was glad her roommate was enjoying the programme as she could see her smile and scream. Just an hour after the programme had started, the guest speaker was invited to speak. She was a relationship expert and she spoke for 45 mins on the topic Its Time to Let go. She used her story to challenge them, “how she was hurt by men so many times and how it was until she let go of her hatred that she found peace and met her husband with whom she is happily married”.
It was during the speech Esther noticed Susan was crying, she gave her handkerchief and placed her hand gently on hers. The speaker told them she is available for private counselling anytime, she dropped her number and left.
Immediately she left, Susan stood up, Esther was scared, so she followed her wanting to know if she was okay. Susan followed the speaker, who was about to enter her car, Susans eyes filled with tears, she said in a soft but shaky voice Ma, may I talk to you now? The woman looked at her with a deep sense of love, she said My dear, I have another engagement right now but you can give me a call, I will find time for you tomorrow.  She gave Susan a big hug and told her Please give me a call. Susan felt relieved thanked her and left. Waiting for her was Esther who gave her another hug and said I love you, everything is going to be alright. They went inside to pack their bags and left for their house
Susan could not wait for the day to break, so she could call the woman. The wait finally ended, she called the woman and she gave her the time and the venue. Susan kept her appointment with the woman. She went with her best friend, Esther.

Susan told the woman how hurt she was, Esther held her tightly and the woman listened with keen interest. She told them the story of how she was raped by her favorite uncle when she was just 10years she tried to tell her parents but they were too busy to understand her and couple with the fact that the uncle told her, she would die if she tells anyone.
When she was 14 her childhood friend (Bob-cool and pleasant boy) also forced himself on her but the humiliation and previous experience with her uncle won’t let her tell anyone. At that point she vowed not to have anything to do with boys again, until she met Philip. 
She met Philip in her first year. He swept her feet away with his charming and caring nature. She told him her story and he, in turn, promised her, he will be there always for her. He promised a no-sex relationship till marriage. One faithful day, she went to hang out with Phillip and met some of Philip’s friends there. In the merriment, she was drugged and she slept off. When she woke up, she realized, she has been defiled. She felt shattered, not only because Philip had failed her, like all the other men in her life, but because she wasn’t even sure how many of them had sex with her.
She rushed back to her hostel, she could not tell anyone not even Esther what had happened because she felt used at the same time guilty of trusting, just like it happened before, no one would ever understand. Then She vowed from that day on not to trust any man again nor fall victim of another man’s charm and sweet words.
The speaker walked to her side and held her hands, she then told her Sweetie, you have to let go, you are hurting and its affecting you. I know its never going to be easy but the past draws us back from the future. If you don’t let go of the past you will never embrace and see the beautiful things the future has for you.  Susan you need to stop hating yourself and move on! These men are not everybody, don’t allow them make you miss the wonderful people ahead. Susan stop holding on to past, you need to let go!
Susan wept loudly and said Ma, I am really trying but I’m hurt, Esther held her and wiped her tears with handkerchief. Deep within, Esther was feeling so bad, she could still that remember that day in 100 level when Susan came back very late in the night looking so disoriented and uncoordinated, she tried finding out but Susan would not talk and as their usual practice she let her be…”only if she knew, she would have kept pressing till she tells her the whole story.” By now Esther was also in tears.
The speaker held her hands again and told her These men have moved on but you are the one still hurt, you really need to help yourself, smile again. You deserve to be happy! Nobody knows how you feel and nobody understands what you are going through but allow yourself to be healed. Let the past go with the past, you need to welcome a new life. It is never going to be easy but I assure you it is worth it” After a talk of about one hour Susan felt relieved, she promised to let it all go and the woman promised to be in touch with her.
When they got home Esther apologized for  not being there when she needed her the most and for not truly understanding her but Susan apologized too for not being open minded to her.
It took Susan time but she has decided to start seeing the brighter side life has to offer and with Dr. Thompson by her side, checking up on her and making her feel loved, she finally let go and gave love another chance. She gave Daniel  a try and she never regretted it.

Lessons
1. You never get rid of bad experience by shutting yourself in and everyone else out
2. The past draws us back from the future. If you must move on, you must shed the excess weight of your past.
3. Most people who hurt you can’t even remember. If you do not let go of the hate, you would only be hurting yourself more.
4. Because friends say they are fine doesn’t really mean they are fine. Often times they just need someone to press a little harder and show a little more concern.
5. For every bad person there is a good person. People are different don’t judge everyone with the sin of few people.
6. A problem shared is a burden lifted. If it is more than you can handle find someone to talk to, if not a family, then a friend, if not a colleague then a professional.
7. You are in control of your happiness; not another man nor another woman, not an experience nor bad breaks, not the good things you have nor the things you lack.
Finally,  a lot of times as humans we are hurt by the people we love and trust the most but if we refuse to forgive and let go, we are the ones hurting. The future will never come around if you still hold on to the past. It’s never going to be easy but eventually it is going to be worth it.

Daphne Rose kingma said Holding on is believing that there is only a past; letting go is a knowing that there is a future
Its time for you to let go of the hurts and the pain, and welcome the future.
God Bless You!

Let me welcome you again to this new year, the fact that you made it this far, shows you are a potential success. It shows you are still in God’s plans and it also proves the fact that you are loved by God. Every New Beginning comes with lots of enthusiasm, passion, energy and new drives. We begin to have different resolutions and goals but what happens as time pass by? Lots of people begin to give up and they gradually move back to their old habits and small dreams.

It is not enough to say you want to have bigger dreams, there is a need to work towards it. There is need to have a plan. Planning helps you keep track of where you are and gives you an idea of where you want to be. It does not really matter how the past years have been, the fact is, it is never too late to have a new beginning, the ultimate turning point that ensures you don’t give up on your dreams. You need to dream new dreams that supersede your old dreams, set new goals and have bigger ambitions, if that is what it takes!

Opportunities await men that are prepared, don’t just sit down and expect miracles to happen, you need to work towards your dreams. Don’t just accept defeat, get up and get on. Set new goals, take the lessons from the disappointment of the old dreams and build a new one. Every successful person you see or hear of today once failed at something. They have faced rejection at different points in their lives but because they didn’t give up, because they grew hungrier for success rather than weary, they became the success story everyone wants to hear or read.

MICHAEL JORDAN

Michael Jordan is an American former basketball player born in Brooklyn, New York. He tried out for his varsity basketball team during his second year in high school and was rejected because he was deemed too short to play at that level but his taller friend made the team, moved to prove his worth he trained vigorously and grew four inches (10cm) which earned him a spot on the team. Though he his retired but he is a legend in the game he was once rejected basketball.

COLONEL SANDERS

Colonel sanders was the founder of Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC), it was at the age of 62 that he set out with a $105 social security check in hand to pitch a chicken recipe to restaurants. 1009 people rejected him and told him he was crazy but he never gave up. In 1952 he hit the road and began trying to sell his franchise-model chicken restaurant. Today KFC can be found everywhere in the world.

OPRAH WINFREY

She was fired from Baltimore WJZ-TV for being too emotionally involved with the stories she reported  but today she claims she would be nothing without her emotions, as of 2013 her net worth is approximately $2.9 billion.

This is a new day, it is another opportunity to have a fresh start, it is a time to set new goals and ambitions, don’t give up because you were rejected yesterday or day before. Learn from your past failures and forge ahead with great confidence and hope. We come closer to success every time we fail. It was Lao Tzu who said “Failure is the foundation of success, and the means by which it is achieved”

It is indeed your time for great exploits and unprecedented success, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.  Make God number one in all you do, keep your focus on what is important and nothing will be able to stop you. It’s not too late to dream again!

I believe in you!!!

It is with great joy that I welcome you to this new year, may it bring to pass all your good dreams.
So many things has been said about expectations from been hurt or disappointed to been surprised beyond wildest imaginations but above all it is also important for us to have a view of what expectations is all about and why it is important or disdain to have them.
The Oxford Advance Learners Dictionary defines expectation as a strong belief that something good will happen. As Humans it is not just important but also of necessity to have expectations. Every notable man or woman that has ever achieved anything substantial in life has a goal or dream backed up with expectations.
It was Sarah Ban Breathnach who said “Today expect something good to happen to you no matter what occurred yesterday”. Ralp Marton also opined “Don’t lower your expectations to meet your performance, raise your level of performance to meet your expectations. Expect the best of yourself and then do what is necessary of reality”.
In reality it is not expectations itself that hurt or disappoint but people and above all the disappointments and hurts, it is still ideal to expect.

Conclusion
I will close with this  Proverbs 23:18(KJV) “For surely there is an end; and thine expectation shall not be cut off”. In short if a man expects nothing, he will definitely get nothing. When next you meet someone who is devoid of expectations, tell them it’s ok to expect but not too high and with hope that they can edge past disappointments.
I want to ask you as journey through this year ” what are your expectations?” Don’t give up on your good dreams, its not too late you can still make it.
I believe in you!
God bless you!