Onomewrites

March 16, 2023March 16, 2023

TRAVELLING WITH A 6-MONTH-OLD BABY BY ROAD IN NIGERIA WITHOUT STRESS

When my daughter turned six months, we had to go on a road trip for my brother’s wedding in Port-Harcourt. From the moment my brother said the wedding would hold in Port-Harcourt, I dreaded the journey because my baby was six months old.

I decided to do a lot of research on google but couldn’t find any article that fit my situation. They were all talking about travelling in your car. I am about to board “God is good motors”, so I need someone with that kind of experience. I am writing this article for that new mama who needs a relatable article.

After the trip to Port-Harcourt, I went on other long journeys with my baby, and it was all seamless. We have travelled to Kwara, Ogun, and Oyo. There was a time we travelled back to back in the space of one month, and my baby girl was fine. I want to share with you some tips that made each journey seamless.

TIPS TO HELP YOU HAVE A SMOOTH JOURNEY WITH YOUR BABY

Speak to your baby’s paediatrician:

Before going on any journey, especially if it’s a long journey, try to speak to your baby’s doctor and let them certify that your baby is fit to travel.

Talk to your baby:

I believe babies can hear, so I started speaking to my baby from the day she was born. I even have a journal where I share every experience, Journaling has helped me stay sane, and I also think it would be nice to present it to her when she grows older, back to the real gist. A friend advised me to let her know we are going on a long trip, it might be stressful, but I will take care of her.

While dressing her up every morning, I would tell her, “Hi mama, in 3 weeks, we will visit Port Harcourt for your uncle’s wedding. The journey is about 8 hours but don’t worry me, your daddy, uncles, aunties and your grandparents will take good care of you. It felt like I was passing a message to her subconscious, it might sound silly, but it works. It’s not just about travelling alone. When you are not comfortable with anything, speak to your baby. When my baby was not eating well, I would speak to her about it. Talk to your baby!

Pack appropriately:

It is also important that you pack everything your child needs. I will advise you don’t pack in a hurry. In my case, I pack at least two days before we travel so that I don’t forget anything. Essentials you need include Diapers, sleepsuits, bodysuits, wipes, formula, bottles, cereals, water and other necessities.

Go with comfortable transportation:

This was one mistake I made when we were travelling to Port Harcourt. We wanted to go with GUO, but unfortunately, we couldn’t book because they were fully booked, so we had to go with “God is good”, and the experience was terrible. The bus was uncomfortable, and we didn’t get to PH until late at night, but returning was seamless. We followed Libra, and the bus was so comfortable. My baby even watched cartoons, lol. She was not cranky at all. I would advise you to go with a comfortable transport company (You can check for reviews before you decide) but if you can please go by air for long distances.

Feed your baby:

This is very important. My baby was starting solids, so breastfeeding was still her major food. I made sure she was breastfed before we left for the park, and she slept till we got to the park. When we boarded, I breastfed too. If you have those ice packs, they will come in very handy. Pump some breastmilk and keep it. I didn’t have those, so I didn’t pump, but I got her some cereal which I gave her when we got to our second stop.

A well-rested baby is a happy baby:

Let your baby rest. For our first trip to Port Harcourt, we had to wake up early to meet the bus, which made my baby cranky. Until she slept, she was fussy. I have also noticed this trend each time we travelled, and she had to wake up early. Even if you have to wake up early, rock your baby so she can sleep; that helps her stay rested, and a well-rested baby is a happy baby.

Dress them for the weather:

For our trip to Port Harcourt, it was really cold, and the bus had AC, so it was so chilly. I wore a sleepsuit for her but changed her into more comfortable wear as the journey progressed. Do your findings about the weather and dress your baby accordingly.

Carry your baby’s toys:

The journey is so long, and you don’t want your baby bored. In the same way, you start pressing your phone once the journey is long, your baby is going to be bored too, so get them their toys, and if your babies have a tab, then you can go along with it and let your babies have fun too.

CONCLUSION

Travelling with your baby is not as easy as it sounds, but it is possible. I have enjoyed every trip with my baby and look forward to more. The secret is to stay calm and be patient; your baby can sense it when you are stressed and frustrated. If your partner is with you, let them relieve you of the stress so you can rest. Don’t forget to enjoy every phase because they grow so fast.

You’ve got this, mama.

Yours on the journey,

Onome.

November 11, 2022

BAPTIST OR NOTHING

There was a time in my life when my dream was to marry a committed Baptist church member. I was born and raised in a Baptist church, and as far as I was concerned, my church was the best. I wanted my children to experience being rooted and raised in the Baptist church because I believed it was the only place the word of God was preached lol (blame it on my not going out).

If you have read my book Identity crisis, I mentioned that the Baptist church was the foundation of my church; all the lessons I learnt in my sunbeam, girls auxiliary and Lydia auxiliary is all part of my faith. The interesting part was that I was so naïve to believe that as long as he is Baptist, he is automatically a good man.

I remember trying so hard to find a Baptist man, I wanted a royal wedding by force (in the Baptist church, when a member of the Lydia auxiliary marries a member of the Royal ambassador, they have a royal wedding, which is always ceremonial with parades and uniform) but I have come to realize over time that a good marriage goes beyond that.

I once dated this guy who was a Baptist member; I had no business dating that guy because we had no chemistry and nothing in common. The only common thing we had was that we were dedicated baptist members and our folks were pastors. He liked me, but I felt nothing for him. I told myself I would grow to like him because marrying him meant our kids would experience what I experienced. Looking back, I was so selfish and silly. I wasn’t looking forward to his call and was eager to return home each time we saw each other. I waited for the perfect excuse to break up, but he was just so sweet. He did everything right, lol.

I can’t even remember how I broke up, but I had to come up with a lie. I knew I hurt him and felt terrible, but I knew if I married him, I would remain miserable for the rest of my life, and he would not forgive me.

When I decided to hand over my relationship to the lord, one of the idols he removed from my heart was marrying a Baptist man or nobody. The Holy Spirit asked me, “would you rather marry a man after my heart or make your decision?”. God worked on me until I reached the point of surrender and absolute trust that He has my best interest at heart.

At the end of the day, I did not marry a Baptist man, but I married the best man for me. I have seen Baptist marriages crash, and I have also seen those that flourished. My point is that a good marriage goes beyond the denomination.

RIP OFF THAT LIST

I don’t know what your idol is. Yours might be a particular tribe, job or position. It goes for both genders. I have met men with ridiculous tastes, and I laugh because we often demand what we don’t have.

It’s time to surrender and trust the father. Rip off that list and start afresh. God knows the end from the beginning. Let God order your steps. Your assignment and calling are bigger than you, and whoever you are in a relationship with must understand that you are called to fulfil a purpose, and your union itself is to serve a purpose.

Marriage is beyond that list you are holding. Trust the father and watch him take care of you.

Your friend and sister,

Onome

August 8, 2022August 8, 2022

IDENTITY CRISIS: MY STORY, GOD’S GLORY

After I wrote my third book, “there was a girl”, I knew there was more, but I was not ready. I was not ready to be vulnerable. I was not ready to share my deepest secrets with strangers. I started writing Identity crisis in 2020, but I closed it because I was scared.

When Papa spoke to me about sharing my story, I argued and gave him all the reasons I should not write this book. Like the loving father that he is, he let me be, but the problem was that I was not feeling satisfied. I felt like I had lost a sense of purpose and was doing things on my own.

I could be a very stubborn girl, but Papa has been teaching me, and gradually I am learning to die to self. I picked up my pen and continued this book. I finished and shared it with my husband. I was looking for every excuse not to publish this story. He said to me, “If God asks you to do this, you need to, and I will support you.”

I had someone in mind for the foreword, but the Lord told me it had to be my mom. Boy, I was scared because I didn’t know how she would receive it. She knows the story, and she helped me walk through forgiveness but writing it in a book, I knew she would never approve, but all God wanted me to do was obey.

I ignored Papa and reached out to this person I had in mind; she said she would be honoured to write the foreword. I was expecting her article when she sent me a mail to send my number that she would love to call me; she called as promised and gave me the shocking news. She said she was struggling to write a foreword. She said she was not getting the urge to go ahead. She apologized, and right there, I knew God had set me up.

After weeks of struggling, I sent the manuscript to my mom. She called back and asked me why I was writing this book. She said she would pray about it and get back. Some days later, she sent the foreword, prayed with me, and encouraged me. That was the biggest sign I needed to get this vision running.

Today, the vision is alive. Identity crisis is ready! This book is beyond me, so I need you to help me read it, review and share it with others. It is my story of abuse and addiction. It is a tale of pain and hope, but I know it carries the answer to the questions in the heart of many people.

It is available in hard and soft copies. The Soft copy goes for 1,200, click here to get your copy, and the hard copy goes for N2,500. You can get your copy here. If you are outside Nigeria, not to worry, it is available on Amazon. Identity crisis is not just my story, it is a vision, and with your help, we can keep this vision alive.

If you have any questions or reviews, you can email me at Nakedwithonome@gmail.com.

May 11, 2022May 11, 2022

MY PREGNANCY JOURNAL: MONTH 9

Finally, we are close to the end of the race. This month came with joy and nervousness. Joy because I was going to see and hold this beautiful human growing inside of me and nervousness because do I even know how to take care of a baby? I mean, I was still clueless about so many things.

My due date was getting closer, and I found myself panicking. I had this extra energy I can’t explain. I would clean the house and cook without stress. My husband would tell me to go and rest, but no o the energy was high. The one thing I hated about the third trimester was that you would urinate every minute. I hated when I had to get up in the middle of the night to pee.

I looked forward to carrying my bundle of joy, the movements had reduced, but I could still feel my baby. My due date was April 8, but the doctors wanted to work with April 6. I was due for surgery on April 6, but our baby had other plans. I started having contractions on April 4, and I thought it was normal stomach pain.

I tried using the restroom, but nothing came out; by the middle of the night, it became intense and closer. I had it for about 1-hour interval; by 6 am, it was about 30 minutes. I had to wake my husband up at this time because I was in severe pain, it felt like menstrual cramps, but it was intense.

I called my friend Damilola and explained how I felt, and she shouted, “you are in labour; go to the hospital”. I called my midwife, who told me to pack my bags and start coming. I was in labour, but I was scared, so you mean I will be a mommy today.

We got to the hospital around 7:30. My midwife had called my gynaecologist to tell him that I was in labour, so we met him at the hospital waiting for me. He checked the baby’s heartbeat and told me they would start getting me prepped for surgery.

I’ve read a lot about CS, but I was still scared. I kept praying under my breath, and mind you; I was still in intense labour pain. The gynae told me he couldn’t give me any medication for the pain because it could affect the baby.

They took me to my ward, and the theatre nurse came in to get me prepped up. I was moved into the theatre, and the anesthesiologist gave me a spinal epidural to numb the pain for the surgery. The surgery started, and the anesthesiologist, God bless his heart, was so lovely. He kept telling me different stories to distract me and keep me calm.

At 9:40 am on April 5, our miracle baby Reyna Oluwafifehanmi Enierioluwa made her way into the world. She was so pretty and perfect, I was so weak, but all I wanted to do was cry. When the nurse brought her to me, I was filled with many emotions. This little girl is mine. I just co-created with God, and it’s so beautiful. Her birth was a testimony. She came like a warrior and brought smiles to our faces.

After they took my baby away and tried to stitch me up, they realized my blood pressure was dropping, and I couldn’t breathe normally, so the anesthesiologist put me on oxygen. I had also lost a lot of blood, so they had to give me two pants of blood.

I knew God had promised that He was with me, so I knew I would not die on that operation table, the doctors did their best, and my blood pressure started returning to normal.

After the surgery, the doctor explained that my baby and I making it alive was a miracle. That was the day I understood what God meant when He told me to call her “Oluwafifehanmi, and he gave my husband, the name “EniEri”.

Oluwafifehanmi means God has shown me love; that theatre experience showed me that God loves me; at that point, when I was struggling to breathe, I didn’t even know what was going on, but God loves me. Enieri means the one of testimony, and this child is a testimony because God preserved her.

I was in the hospital for about five days because the doctors discovered I had a bladder wound when they were stitching me up, and they needed it to heal. I can tell you for free that God is faithful, and when He gives you a word, it will surely come to pass. I felt every inch of pain, but when I look at that child, I am reminded that indeed God loves me.

Thank you for showing up every day to read this journal. It means a lot to me. Thank you for sharing and your beautiful comments. I started this journal because I was bored, but I’m so glad I did because these memories are what I will cherish. I hope I made you laugh and made you realize that pregnancy is indeed a beautiful journey.

Dear pregnant woman, please take it easy on yourself. Your journey is not everybody’s own. You are different, so block out the noise and pick your strength in God. There is no award for suffer head, so take it easy and enjoy this phase. Please, if you need someone to talk to, I am just a message away. I promise to make you laugh.

To every TTC woman, momma, you are strong, and you are not a failure. God will come through for you, and you will testify.

It’s been a beautiful journey with you. Thank you!

I love you!

Onome.

May 10, 2022May 9, 2022

MY PREGNANCY JOURNAL: MONTH 8

Hello, Month 8; you didn’t tell me you were coming with your own stress. I thought we agreed on no more stress. This month has to be one stressful but exciting month. By this time, I was already heavy and looking like a balloon. My bump was bigger. I love the part where a lot of people treated me with kindness, I didn’t have to stand in the queue when I needed to get things done, but please, I hate the “Iya ibeji” who told you I want to have twins (I’m rolling my eyes at this point).

My baby grew bigger, which means the movement was reduced, but I still looked forward to the tiny kicks and movements. I journaled more and wrote letters to my baby each day I had the chance. Shortness of breath was the issue here, fam; bending down became a chore, and cooking wasn’t as fun as it used to be.

My husband was always ready to help; all I had to do was ask. I also love the fact that I could use pregnancy to escape anything, especially when he needs me to do something for him, lol. He was always covering me in prayer, I would wake up in the morning, and I could feel his hand on my stomach praying for the baby, and after that, he touches my head to pray for me. Hearing him pray for me always made me feel special. The truth was that we carried this pregnancy together.

I continued my antenatal, and I was already tired of going for the thing by this time. My doctor and nurses were far too kind. They were always encouraging and smiling. I almost forgot to tell you; they always gave us biscuits and milk every antenatal session.

The thing with month 8 is that you are close to the journey’s end, so you can’t wait. I was always doing countdowns because mehn I was tired already. I also intentionally chose not to satisfy my cravings. I was craving ice cream every day, but I never yielded to the temptation, so I resolved to take fruit and natural juices. Pregnancy will humble you because, on a normal day, I was the chairlady of taking sweet things.

My husband also played a significant role because he would always beg me not to indulge my cravings. After all, having a big baby is work, lol. Shoutout to every pregnant woman. This journey is filled with so many experiences.

The highlight of month 8 was my friends coming together to throw a baby shower. I didn’t see it coming. My husband told me he wanted to take me out that weekend, I was wondering what was going on, and the reason is this we are both home buddies; we would rather order our food and bring the restaurant experience home. We rarely go out, so when he said he wanted us to go out, I was shocked but at the same time happy.

I dressed up, and we headed out that Saturday morning only to get to the restaurant, and I heard surprise. These ladies really went over and beyond. I had a good time; we laughed, danced, played games, prayed and ate. I know you guys will read this, so I am saying thank you for making that huge sacrifice. I felt so loved. They even dragged my sister Jumoke from her father’s house in Kwara to come. It was such a beautiful day. Y’all are the best sisters!

I started packing my hospital bag this month. You can say I’m not serious. Packing that bag with my husband was so interesting because this is the real reminder on our faces we are going to be parents!

This month, I had a talk with my gynaecologist about my birthing options. He did a background check and sent me for a scan to check the baby’s weight and position. He advised me to go for a caesarian operation because I have done surgery before. I went home to discuss it with my husband, and I remember him giving me a big hug and he said, “all that matters is a healthy mother and baby, whatever means it will take, just know that Jesus will be glorified”. I was so relieved after he said those words.

I don’t have a problem with CS, but a part of me wanted a virginal birth. I remember the Holy Spirit asking me why and I realized it was all because I wanted to share the story and take all the glory. I spoke with a few friends who had done CS, and those women made me feel so safe. At the end of the day, Jesus was indeed glorified. I am so grateful I chose to go for CS! Before I continue, let me say this, please resist the urge to ask people after they gave birth what way the baby came out. Whether CS or virginal delivery, there is nothing easy about it. It takes a lot to birth a child. All that matters is the mother and child coming out alive and healthy. I want to say well done to every mother! This journey humbled me.

My journey is rounding up, and it’s time to take you on the final journey and month. Let’s see how month 9 went down.